Puppy Love

Amelius on May 28, 2006

Thank you everyone…so sorry to melt down on you all and disappear like that. If anyone sent me email and I haven't answered, please don't worry or be upset…both of my accounts are refusing to work right now (grrr…)
I just couldn't get right back into things at the moment because of…well, a lot of factors. I can't promise this will update like usual because I'm still…well, you know.
I never wanted to get “too” personal with you to the point of discomfort, since I'm actually a rather shy creature by habit. But of course most of what you know of me you can tell is in the comic, since every one of the characters is a part of me in some form or another and in varied degrees. Some more than others are too much like me.
It may have appeared by my reaction to the situation that maybe it was worse than it really was…not to say too much but I still am friends with the other person involved, but it is still unbelievably painful that “friends” is all we are anymore.
It's not like I can't be happy because we're still on fairly good terms, but it hurts to know your feelings for eachother have become unfairly lopsided.

There's more to this but I don't feel like getting too much into it…but we never fought, argued, I never demanded his attention or told him what to do or any of the things that usually break it off…I guess my mistake was that I was not like other girlfriends and therefore more like a friend… (as for the other reason mentioned? Apparently he can't keep the story straight so I STILL don't know what really went wrong… and he won't tell me)
And in comparison of the situation to the comic, the characters I identify with most at the moment are Tony, LaBelle, and Zerlocke.

I never knew depression had a nice physically painful companion to accompany it…it's never really hit me this hard before.

I'm not back because I feel better, but I feel like I'm neglecting the people who really care about me…but as such this may not update on the same schedule (the art/insomnia/weeping/mental block will be to blame for this if so) but I'll try my darndest.
Also I really hate to bring the subject of money up, since it has no real appeal to me and I feel terrible even mentioning it, but since I have nothing to look forward to anymore I may as well try and focus more on making this my career…my father still insists on the paypal donation button and I'm waffling on the issue ( mostly shamed out of it by some comments I've read here too)but there was also mention of ebay and original artwork, which I might venture to try out in a bit. I'm not too optimistic about it and please don't let this all spoil your opinion of me as well…I don't need money to make me feel better, but I'm sure it'd make my parents feel better about me living here without paying rent ^_^