015. Why I was late
usedbooks on Jan. 21, 2009
Well, I was thinking about all these great strip ideas and I made time in my schedule to create them, after reducing the updates for my other comic to twice a week (but in color now, so it's okay) and applying to a dozen jobs and lining up an interview (although I'm not sure you can call it “lining up,” because Geometry teaches us that it takes two points to define a line). Anyway, all my brilliant planning and thoughts still left me time to write a 5000 word short story (not sure why I did it though), volunteer at the museum, and thank my sister for the cute gifts she sent me from Japan.
After all this, I sat down to draw, still plenty of time to get in my “weekly update.” Then I heard the train whistle. It beckoned me to take an adventure, a short ride was all it would be. In fact, it was the fastest train on earth, so the tour would be over before it started. I hopped onto the caboose, and as the train started up, I knew it was strange. You see, this train traveled just 5 mph below the speed of light (as we all know, going the speed of light is impossible). So the universe warped around me, all the light condensed into a single strip, stretching like a ribbon around the train. And you, dear readers, yes you, were now going 5 mph below the speed of light relative to me and the train. (Although, relative to me, the train was not moving at all.) All this excited me, and I wanted to talk to the conductor, so I took off in a run toward the engine. Of course, when I started my run, though I don't run fast, I easily exceeded the 5 mph logic limit, so at that time, relative to you, I passed the speed of light and ceased to exist! During this same time, relative to me, YOU ceased to exist, and my comic also ceased to be, so for a brief instant (though no time at all, since time also ceased to be – at least for you, relative to me) I had no comic and no obligation to update. But then the train slowed and stopped, arriving at my home once again. I stepped out and saw by the worms on the pavement that while I was away, it had rained. As I approached my front door, however, I tripped, fell into a wormhole, and landed in the future where my update was late and I was forced to write you this explanation.
And I swear that everything I've written (in the first paragraph) is 100% true. Unless the train comes by my house again, I will update again (relatively) soon.
Kirlily at 7:21AM, June 30, 2010
Oh my god, one of my classmates used the exact same excuse when he was late for class. The science teacher laughed the first time, but gave him detention the tenth time he did it.
usedbooks at 2:05PM, Jan. 30, 2009
Thanks. Sadly, it wouldn't fly anywhere except maybe physics lecture -- and even then, the professor would probably chuckle and then mark you tardy anyway. (Unless he has no sense of humor, though from my experience, *most* physicists do.)
Loud_G at 6:08AM, Jan. 30, 2009
heheh, great excuse for being late :)
usedbooks at 11:21AM, Jan. 22, 2009
Yeah, I like volunteering. People let you do fun stuff and are always glad to have you. It also comes down to the idea of intrinsic vs. extrinsic rewards. It's a known fact tat once you start receiving extrinsic reward (ie. money), the intrinsic value (enjoyment) decreases. ;) It's a little local history museum. The people are very nice. I always wanted to work in a museum (ideally a science or natural history one), but it's hard to get your foot in the door as far as paying jobs are concerned. Oh, and didn't you know? Wormholes are made by those sandworms from Beetlejuice.
patrickdevine at 9:51AM, Jan. 22, 2009
Well congratulations on breaking the light barrier and discovering that wormhole. They're made by real worms, who knew? I had no idea that you volunteer for a museum, that's got to be pretty cool! All of favorite jobs were volunteer work too bad they never paid me!
amanda at 8:06AM, Jan. 22, 2009
XD Very nice!
ghostrunner at 10:33PM, Jan. 21, 2009
and space aint doig so good either
Warpedwenger at 10:31PM, Jan. 21, 2009
That's seriously super clever. I loved it.