Snatch:page thirty-one
Genejoke on March 12, 2014
Another page comes friday.
Not sure if the action is clear enough, the aim was to try and show everything at once but I think over the next page or so things become a little chaotic.
Genejoke on March 12, 2014
Another page comes friday.
Not sure if the action is clear enough, the aim was to try and show everything at once but I think over the next page or so things become a little chaotic.
plymayer at 9:57PM, March 12, 2014
The page does convey the atmosphere of the cave. The vastness of the space. Let's us see the goons coming in from the distance. Is a bit hard to see the details of who is doing what to whom.
Genejoke at 4:08PM, March 12, 2014
Obviously the first panel is establishing, the second I wanted to show the others in back ground... the third... yeah not so good. Fridays page, I think suffers with panels trying to show too much. Mondays on the other hand, I think mostly works better. more close ups, more focused. After that one... well I haven't go that far yet.
El Cid at 3:00PM, March 12, 2014
More awesome lighting and FX. Would agree with what Bravo said, about how you're shooting the action scene so far. A lot of wasted empty space there, and it makes the action look distant and impersonal, rather than frenetic and exhilarating, as it should be. It's good to have at least one establishing shot so the readers know where everyone is, but beyond that there's no reason to shoot the whole sequence at a distance... unless there's some kind of complicated maneuvers we need to keep track of. In this case, I actually don't even think it serves that purpose, because at this distance it's hard to tell who's who and who's doing what to whom. This is definitely one of those occasions where you're better off using smart composition rather than just documenting and diagramming what's going on.
bravo1102 at 2:07PM, March 12, 2014
Action is chaotic. Small close-up panels with tight angles work well to convey action and then a tumbling of panels one into another. Broad epic vistas don't work as well for action unless doing surveys of battlefields. Readers say I'm good at conveying action but I have no idea what I do outside of that.