General Balrog at 3:31AM, Aug. 22, 2009

She looks quite calm, almost like if it is a common question asked with such intruding characters bugging the poor temple priestesses! She handles the situation quite well! Interesting transition. The interior of the temple looks boring, just a lot of walls. Is the ceiling high up? You should try to introduce the interior of the temple with some perspective shots, otherwise the transition between rooms and objects will be a little confusing, if it is a picture with lots of space for other stuff except characters, it should have a fair composition and there should be a fair divide between the occupants residing within the panels. Depending on purpose, the landscape can be ignored, but without introducing a new area, the reader may get confused. The only thing that tells me where the setting takes place are the textured background. In some frames there are a few objects that advices what room it is, but it is either too flat or simple, and not enough. Even a boring temple deserves a decent view, even if it incorporates characters, it could have a perspective angle point of view to add to the interpretation of the temple. Frame 1 could have had a background. Or, there could have been a frame introducing more of the interior of the temple. The statue does at frame 2 does not show where it is standing - its just there! Frame 3 describes the event, but it has room for telling us where it took place. We are left making a lot of assumptions on where inside the temple it took place; New areas should have an introduction! A perspective view would tell us were it took place. Even though I think the intensions was to suprise the character and reader by throwing that statue in our faces like that, there could atleast have been an exitpicture that shows us more of the area where it is standing. Is it an altarroom? A decoration behind the staircase, in the entrance? This questions should be avoided for the viewers to ask, except if the intensions are to leave us guessing, "In the dark". As a storywriter, you should take into account that most viewers/readers can't read your mind. A good thing would be to go through what the unknowing viewer could get as a first impression from reading your comic. Attempt to ask yourself the questions: "what can they see?", "what can't they see?", "what do they know and not know"... well, stuff like that, or allow a lucky friend of yours to be the first reader of your storyboard and concepts and allow reviews from there before you progress to final! But of course, some of this hints may require time you want to utilize in drawing your comic, but if you plan or if you have time - try it! :) Those are my Hints since I think some of the panels are to flat in perspective. Otherwise, the story, I like! I like the storytelling and the plot is moving! "Me like story!" Moving on to the next page...

amanda at 9:56AM, June 9, 2009

Heh, she lost her smile really quickly. Hope he's prepared for a swift kick to the family jewels.