Someone with a mustache will get my vote…but I wish Humor man would update like BK did.

Ochitsukanai

Hakoshen
I've always found mustaches on women to be a bit… well… unnatural.

Hakoshen - Sexist Mayor '09? I say nay! Were I perhaps a plane or a box with legs, it seems your opinion would differ, but you dislike my fantastic moustache merely due to my gender!?

Hakoshen
I'm here to get things done, and bring you the one thing you want. Not food, not mechs, not whatever. Victory. And of course, scorched earth and the smoldering bodies of the guilty.

Not only will the land be useless, the trophies obtained from the bodies will be scorched and smell terrible if this plan is followed. The land should be fertile for the next owner - an innocent townie! Since the Mafia is awful for the town's appeal, the absence of Mafia plus an abundance of fertile land can only mean good things for this town.

hey I'm not a box with legs If you look closley at the top you'll see a stick figure in a paper bag hat.since I can't draw people, thats me. The ‘box with legs’ as you call it is my box-mecha!.
-edit-

look at the top…see?
I can't believe I voted for you.

Don't you dare insult my favorite hobo, Ochi!

waff
hey I'm not a box with legs If you look closley at the top you'll see a stick figure in a paper bag hat.since I can't draw people, thats me. The ‘box with legs’ as you call it is my box-mecha!.

I was in fact referring to Boxxy Leggs, my beloved sidekick, who sports an equally impressive moustache.



I appreciate all help from the mecha-riding hobo demographic. Indeed, this is one of my favorite demographics.

All votes for the day will be tallied up on the first post along with the player/role list.

What I mean is, we wont ravage the whole town. We wont even ravage half. There are but four mafia amongst all 20 of us. There's no need to burn down the whole forest to catch one rat so to speak. No no. When we find the mafia, we're going to scorch their earth, not ours. And do not confuse scorching the earth with salting it. The land will still be quite salvageable, if not for fertile for the cleared underbrush.

And sexist? Why whatever gave you that idea? I never said I disliked your mustache. I said I found them somewhat unnatural. But don't we find unnatural things beautiful? Is not the Statue of David a work of man, not nature, and a yes work of art and incomparable beauty? Was the Mona Lisa painted by the wind and rain? No! Yet isn't it lovely?

And why, I ask, would you want to salvage the ill gotten gains of the mafia? All marks of their greed and opulence should burn with them.

There is no need to grasp at straws and see phantoms where there are none. When I am done, there will be a new day, one where you and your friends, family and facial hair can all live as you so deserve; without the hand of the mafia at your back, nor the testaments to their wicked ways.

So mustaches are the in thing now? Am I doing it rite?

VOTE FOR ME!

Here are just a few more reasons why-

1) I'm freakin awesome! To the xtreme!

2) I spell “extreme” with only two e's!

3) I end all my sentences with exclamation marks!

4) I have a cool English accent that American chicks think is hot!

5) Damn it, how many more reasons do you people need? What am I? Your dancing monkey? Well I've got a dance for you! Its called the “screw you all and the horse you rode in on Tango”. Its got a catchy beat and you'll all be strutting too it in a couple of minutes! I don't need your approval! I don't need anything from you ingrates! I built this town! That's right! ME! Without me, you would be NOTHING! Nothing but maggots crawling in the filth of your own ignorance! Sometimes I want to just put a match to this God forsaken hell hole of a town just so I can watch it burn! BURN!
I hate you all….I hate you all so much…..

6) I take it to the MAX!

7) I've got folksy wisdom and good old fashioned values!

8) I'm down with da kids!

So there you go, VOTE HARKOVAST FOR MAYOR OF TOWNSTON!

THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ME AND THE COMPETITION…..IS VAST!

Ochitsukanai

waff
hey I'm not a box with legs If you look closley at the top you'll see a stick figure in a paper bag hat.since I can't draw people, thats me. The ‘box with legs’ as you call it is my box-mecha!.

I was in fact referring to Boxxy Leggs, my beloved sidekick, who sports an equally impressive moustache.



I appreciate all help from the mecha-riding hobo demographic. Indeed, this is one of my favorite demographics.

oh…well I'm sorry I got the wrong end of the stick and I didn't know I was demographic…well good night.

As Mayor, I would not tolerate any sexism, racism, religious intolerance, xenophobia, Homophobia, peanut allergy, cripple punching, sheep mocking or any other prejudicial behaviour.

Because I believe, at the end of the day all people are the same…..

Dead.

Hanging from the end of a rope.

Because I lynched them.

Vote Harkovast!

Hakoshen
And sexist? Why whatever gave you that idea? I never said I disliked your mustache. I said I found them somewhat unnatural. But don't we find unnatural things beautiful? Is not the Statue of David a work of man, not nature, and a yes work of art and incomparable beauty? Was the Mona Lisa painted by the wind and rain? No! Yet isn't it lovely?

Your glistening prose does not alter the fact that you claimed feminine moustaches are “unnatural.” You may strive to change the semantic meaning of “unnatural,” to give it better connotations, but the fact that you initially used it as a blow against my campaign bespeaks your TRUE feelings!

I notice that you remove your own facial hair, and yet you speak as though facial hair is to be protected. Hmmmm…

If quantity of facial hair is how we pic a mayor, then that is yet another reason to vote for me!
Check out that avatar! Solid hair all over the face (even hairy ears!)
There are even whiskers!
Look on its unshaven glory and give thanks to the VAST!

VOTE HARKOVAST!
Because if I do win and you didn't vote for me, I'll make you suffer! :-)

waff

Hakoshen

waff

Hakoshen
wont scorched earth mean we can't grow crops and therefore starve?

Only on their side of town.

so your saying we should ravage the landscape on one side of town then move to the other? dude bad enviromental policy.Oh crap I'm doing a 2ndrb

What the hell does that even mean?

In all the madness, I forgot to cast my vote.

I vote for myself, of course.

Be a good citizen, and don't vote based on looks. Vote based on purpose. Vote based on duty. As a sociologist and a soldier, I understand people, and I understand war.

I regret to say this, but look what our blind peace has gotten us. Another head of the hydra that is the mafia, growing again in our own back yard. And what good will trophies and hubris be when we're all dead at the hands of some drug peddlers and loan sharks?

Cast a vote for the one who you know will bring you victory! For then, you can have your mechs, your mustaches, and of course, your sense of well being at a job well done.

Wait? I get a vote?
What kind of idiot let someone like me have a vote?
Don't they realise I'd just vote for an extremist party?
This is why democracy doesn't work folks!
Don't worry though, once I am mayor, democracy will be one of the first things I make illegal!

I VOTE FOR HARKOVAST!
(See? told you I would vote for a crazy extremist!)

VOTE HARKOVAST!
Because Hakoshen copies my name and Dukat copies my avatar!

Everyone was adding mustachios and top hats to their avatars.

I just wanted to be popular. :(

Harkovast, that is indeed copious hair…but it is not a MOUSTACHE. But, as part of my solemn vow to bring moustaches to this town:

Let me fix that for you.



Hakoshen, don't forget you have to send a PQ to humorman to vote…

Crocty, you want to be popular?

VOTE HARKOVAST!
I'll be your best friend forever!
See? you are one vote away from increased popularity!

Ochitsukanai, I must admit that is a fetching look….

No! I wont be swayed by this moustache bribes!
I only take bribes of cash….and sometimes drugs….possibly women…but NOT MOUSTACHE!
You have to draw the line somewhere!
These hairy faced commies are over running our town and buying yellow cake uranium from mutant terrorist zombies or something!
AND I FOR ONE WON'T STAND FOR!
I WANT THE YELLOW CAKE URANIUM!
THEN REVENGE ON THE WORLD WILL BE MINE!

This message was brought to you by the campaign to make Harkovast your new God.

Ochitsukanai
Your glistening prose does not alter the fact that you claimed feminine moustaches are “unnatural.” You may strive to change the semantic meaning of “unnatural,” to give it better connotations, but the fact that you initially used it as a blow against my campaign bespeaks your TRUE feelings!

I notice that you remove your own facial hair, and yet you speak as though facial hair is to be protected. Hmmmm…

Because I believe in choice. People, you are welcome to grow or keep your hair if you so desire, but don't do so simply because someone says you should. Do it because you want to. I decided I was done playing the mustache game just for the sake of being popular and part of the game.

And why does my addressing something as being unnatural make me opposed to it? Where did I so much as imply that it was a fault on your character? Where did I swing the first blow? Why, I didn't. You did. The first handful of mud was never mine. If you reread that post, I said that I was not one of those enemies of women who you now seem to believe that I am.

If you want to augment yourself, then by all means do so. Just because I might not do it myself or observe it as a natural occurrence does not make me opposed to it. It's this kind of understand that we need, not one who seeks to find enemies where instead there should be allies.

Ochitsukanai
Hakoshen, don't forget you have to send a PQ to humorman to vote…

Ah. Since the results are in the open anyways I figured it did not matter. My mistake.

Believe in choice?
There is no such thing!
I dont believe in it and nothing will change my mind about it!
Hakoshen you made it up and you know you did.
I suppose this mythical “choice” means people have sort of whacky “free will” or “right to life liberty and the pursuit of happiness”!
Save that sort of left wing hippy crap for the next Woodstock reunion!

As Mayor I promise to destroy all free thought by personally eating the frontal lobe of any citizen stupid enough to question the imperial majesty of my divinely inspired commands!

THE VAST!
Breaking the laws of man and nature, so you don't have too!

-.- And this all started because of Ochi drew a Ozone like hat on my avatar.

Niccea
-.- And this all started because of Ochi drew a Ozone like hat on my avatar.

Ever war begins with but a single word.

Hakoshen
Where did I so much as imply that it was a fault on your character?

Hakoshen
I've always found mustaches on women to be a bit… well… unnatural.

In fact, considering I just shaved my goatee in real life a few days ago, I think my avatar could do without looking like a 1050's villain who ties women to train tracks. After all, I'm not here to bring you more of the same.

So people with facial hair
-are “more of the same”
-look as though they'd tie people to train tracks
-look unnatural if they're women

Hakoshen
Ah. Since the results are in the open anyways I figured it did not matter. My mistake.

Well, I'd hate to make a serious enemy of you. Your prose is quite lush! Handshake?

Okay look, here is a reason why you should vote me to be Mayor.

I AM NOT MAFIA!

Obviously a sadistic guy like me would love to be mafia, but I am not that lucky!
My desire to be mafia makes it almost impossible for me to actually be one. I never catch a break like that. In games like this I always get stuck with the crappy roles. And once again, that has happened.

Whats more, last time we played this I pissed Humorman off by encouraging everyone to lynch him.
You think he doesn't hold grudges? You think after that treatment he is going to give me the role I want?
I piss the guy off, he can't stand me! He thinks I am about as funny as stabbing yourself in the leg, and he thinks I am less likable then that!
There is no way he would give me a decent role.
So he gave me a crappy one like I always get (damn it!)

So of everyone here, I am the person we can be most confident is not a mafia.
So vote for me! (Though my bad luck will mean I lose this election thing anyway)

VOTE HARKOVAST!
I'm making you an offer you cant refuse…wait! That came out wrong!

Vote for me becuase statistically speaking, there is a low probability that I'm a mafia. There is only a 4 in 19 chance that I'm with the mafia. That is even lower because I have been there and done that. Not only that, but I know how the mafia think given that I am an old one.

Niccea
Vote for me becuase statistically speaking, there is a low probability that I'm a mafia. There is only a 4 in 19 chance that I'm with the mafia. That is even lower because I have been there and done that. Not only that, but I know how the mafia think given that I am an old one.

And how do we know you're not mafia again? Hmmmm?

Dukat

Niccea
Vote for me becuase statistically speaking, there is a low probability that I'm a mafia. There is only a 4 in 19 chance that I'm with the mafia. That is even lower because I have been there and done that. Not only that, but I know how the mafia think given that I am an old one.

And how do we know you're not mafia again? Hmmmm?

^.^ You don't. But you don't know that anyone isn't mafia. Right?

Niccea that is like saying that because a coin has come up heads three times it is more likely to flip tails.

Besides, humorman likes you, he is bound to make you some awesome role like mad bomber or something.

Now with me, it just aint gunna happen.
I'm a boring crappy townie, because of sods law and the fact humorman hates me.

SO VOTE ME MAYOR OR THE MAFIA ARE GOING TO TAKE OVER THE TOWN AND KILL YOU ALL, YOU LEMMINGS!

Oh whats the point? You're all going to vote for someone else anyway.
But at least when I get murdered I will be able to gloat that I was, in fact, the right guy to mayor!

harkovast
You think he doesn't hold grudges? You think after that treatment he is going to give me the role I want?
There is no way he would give me a decent role.
So he gave me a crappy one like I always get (damn it!)

Niccea
Vote for me becuase statistically speaking, there is a low probability that I'm a mafia.

Everyone has the same probability - and since the roles were randomized, there's no “lower” probability for either of you than for anyone else. Being the mafia earlier wouldn't affect THIS randomization (that's the gambler's fallacy), and if the decisions were randomized, grudges wouldn't factor into it.

Ochitsukanai
So people with facial hair
-are “more of the same”
-look as though they'd tie people to train tracks
-look unnatural if they're women

Well, I'd hate to make a serious enemy of you. Your prose is quite lush! Handshake?

Not quite in so blatant terms. More of the same refers to the sudden, fad like surge of popularity that the mustache enjoys. Facial hair does not make one a villain, but it is not arguable that many villains of 50's movies had long, narrow mustaches, and my particular avatar had one that was long, pointed and circular. And yes, they appear unnatural on women. I can't change the truth of that. When something naturally occurs noticeably on only a small fraction of the population it is scientifically abnormal. When something moves to increase those odds via augmentation it is in fact, unnatural. And mine? Well, to be honest, the sensation of getting hairs in the corner of my mouth was getting old.

But nay, there is no animosity between us. As fellow lovers of the English language and students of university, I should think we would get along fine. Regardless of who wins, and that includes all who have run, in the end, we have but one purpose;

To kill the mafia, and avenge our fallen brethren.