You said:
It was one HOT night in the city of El Paso, Tx. Me and a couple friends decided we would beat the weather at the local strip joint, “Jaguar's”. I grabbed my stash of alcohol, and hauled ass there.
First of all, why the hell would you try to “beat the heat” with alcohol? You as well as I know this is quite silly. Alcohol dehydrates you like crazy. If you're gonna go to a strip club to beat the heat, you nead loads and loads of chocolate pudding. DUH. ;)
Secondly, you made the bitch cry because she had PMS. That's all. It wasn't your fault. Strip club equals house full of PMS-y bitches. Men are just askin' for it, says I.
….(hoping Uber gets the fact that I'm trying to be funny)