For some science homework years ago, there was a table of results and one question says how did this happen (or something like that) and I put “Because it says so”. This one was acomplete accident. I had to write the volume of a cuboid. I meant to put 600 but I put 60p. Curse you money question right before that!!!

“Fuck tha police”

flaak_monkey
Im a Ninja.

My friend put that as an answer for a science question during our SATs (english version of SATs). Also, for he practice question for our mental maths test, he put “50,000 egg blenders”

In 9th grade we were so terrible. Our music teacher said he layed in bed thinking about us at night. I screamed (well, almost)
“Why are you thinking about us in bed at night?!?!”
A question on a test was:
Why do you misbehave in class?
A-Because you touch yourself at night, and they are all gonna laugh at you.

Oh yea I've never been in a catholic school system. But in 12U Biology I sucked so badly. There are many small essays then one big one. I wrote “Please
read ultimate ninja essay attached on the back.” I wrote how god could exist if he was a dinosaur, and we are the freak of nature that came about, then
I tried to explain my theory. I was done in half an hour and had three and a half to spare. So on the backs of all the like…15 pages I made big full
size pictures. I failed (though he could have pity passed me, I had no interest in pursuing science and I had to take it because nothing else was being
offered, and I was in grade 11 to start with) but he refused to return my test. I wanted my essay and my pictures back but he wouldn't T_T asshole.

oh and once for an art assignment I handed in a peice of paper that said “you don't like anything I do anyway, so fail me the easy way. I
have better stuff to do anyway.” She was such a bitch >_<

i remember doing this from time to time….:

whenever i knew i wasn't going to do too well on a test i would draw an arrow near the bottom of the test saying EXTRA CREDIT (on back)—–> then on the back i would draw some crazy looking dude saying “GIVE ME EXTRA CREDIT!”

the funny thing is some teachers actually DID give me credit for it bwahahaha

in my practice law exam i was asked why a certain law was in place in the UK

i wrote about a 4 page essay explaining it was becuase ‘ stone cold said so’

the teacher didnt understand- i dont think he had ever seen WWE!.

i passed my actual exam however!.

Once, in college, I took a test in linguistics I was completely unprepared for.

Q: What are false friends?

A: People who only pretend to like you and talk shit behind your back. What does that have to do with linguistics?

Quite a lot, apparently: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/False_friend :)

In 10th grade English we had a quiz on a play. I forget the question but I wrote “How the hell am I supposed to know?!”. My teacher just ignored it. I still got a B on that quiz, though. :D

When I didn't know a answer for my spanish homework, I would just write ‘quemazon’(spanish for combustion). Teacher never noticed.

My senior year of high school, we were all assigned book reports, using only books our Honors English teacher picked. She had very general taste, and wouldn't allow us to report on books of our choosing.

She gave me ‘The Diary of Anne Frank’.

Really? The Diary of Anne Frank? I've had to have read this hundreds of times throughout the years, and it's my Honors English book report assignment?

I started the book report normally, but once I got to the end, I made Anne Frank survive, and start a rebel group of counter-terrorists that took down the Nazi propaganda machine in her village.

I got a B, and the reason why I didn't fail, was the fact that I made my instructor ‘laugh until they cried’. High school rocked.

Back in junior high school…I remember there was a question about Nazis that I didn't know the answer to. Being Jewish (ah to be a Puerto Rican Irish Jew like me…) I wrote down something like: I don't really care what the hell they did because they slaughtered a million of my people.

And you know what…the teacher didn't mark it wrong. I always found that funny.

Q: what do you think the authers message is

A: WHY DONT YOU ASK HIM!!!!

When filling out our college entrance papers they still had the gender question on it, so where it ask sex, I wrote, “as often as possible”, my friend wrote , “once last week-end in Kentucky”. When I went through reception station on my way to Basic Training, they gave us what they called a “flying ten” or a $10.00 advance against out first pay because we were not allowed to bring any money in with us. Sarge lined us up and told us to go forward when our name was called, sign our “John Handcocks” take our money and back in ranks. I went up signed John Handcock and was immediately instructed in what,“GIVE ME 50 YOU WORTHLESS PIECE OF $#!*” meant. Next time I did some smart ass thing in the Army, I made sure someone else took the fall for it.

Funny replies…
I always put random stuff… “Abe Lincoln” in science was common. I also liked to draw beavers chasing clowns with chainsaws. Once, when a science teacher asked some totally irrelivent question on a test, I drew a picture of a frog crying over a dissected relative… I got that question right, too.
Oh, and I managed to use sabotage to get out of dissecting a frog. I passed that class with an A+ because she defaulted the grade to a 100%. :D
See? Knowing about computers DOES let you pass Science… and stick to your personal beliefs at the same time. ^^

Ahhhh… I remember the age old “if two trains are traveling toward each other 5 miles apart on the same track, the first train traveling ”X“ miles an hour and the second traveling ”Y“ miles an hour, how long would it take the two to collide?” question….

my answer……

The above question is pointless, the more important question is, “Do the conductors, crew, and passengers aboard both trains have life insurance, do their families have good lawyers, and how far away would a teenager equipped with a camcorder have to stand to ensure he was safe from rogue limbs, metal, and other various forms of debris, while ensuring he maintains good lighting and framing of the ensuing carnage, also if mass produced on DVD's and sold on eBay, how much net profit would the young filmmaker attain?”

funny thing is….. the math teacher happened to be the debate teacher, and he held me after class the next day to tell me he would love for me to take his debate class the following year…….

I remember my best answer.

It was Sophomore year of High School. In my school almost every teacher goes under the belief of no home work during winter break. Most teachers either had a test the last day or did nothing for the few days leading up to the last day before winter break. My Biology teacher was a complete B***h. She handed us out not only work but she wanted a whole essay done by the end of break. At the time this was a major pain in my @ss. So I said I wasn't going to do it. I left all my papers for it in my locker and didn't have a care in the world. I am a Catholic and it was Christmas I wasn't going to do an essay. Later during the break my mom starts yelling at me to do the work. So I am like shit what do I do. I left all my work at school.

The project was on the theory of evolution. So I thought to myself. What would Jesus Do? It was a joke at the time. Then I remembered hardcore catholics don't believe in evolution. So I wrote a whole paper on how the whole thing was against my religion. Now I am not one to say Evolution is wrong or anything and I am not a serious Catholic or anything but I needed an excuse. I wrote two pages on how catholics do not believe in it and how it is sinful to think Adam and Even weren't the first humans and junk.

The teacher flipped a shit. She made me redo the whole thing. The good part was I got full credit (when I redid it) and a good laugh.

“Micheal Palin with his face in a pie times by Douglas Adam squared.”

“Optimus Prime.”

“Enemy lasanga, robust below wax. Semi-automatic aqua, accompany slacks?”

~ Direct quotes during my English Drama assessment, grade: A+.


“All the little kids will enjoy playing with my snake.”

~ Quoted from Antony's Business for students day. This has been said to 150 people.


“Some kind of science.”

~ Quote taken from a maths lesson.

Well a long time ago I had to write a 5 page essay talking about the events that happened in a book called “Jane Eyre” (or something like that) and well of course I didn't read the whole book because I fell asleep reading it and hated it period (ain't into tragic lives and romance books). So it was time to write the essay… and for the first paragraph it was doing good, then it got better. I wrote down that Jane became a Jedi and had to stop an evil overlord monkey from controlling the earth. So Jane goes and trains with both Yoda and Jackie Chan. Eventually she goes back to earth and fights the Evil monkey's zombie robot pirate ninja army. She eventually gets to the evil monkey, but the monkey being evil, forced her to fight the man she loved. Eventually she kills him and starts to cry, and the monkey starts to shock her. Jane screamed in pain and then the monkey said something… “I love you”. Jane was so shocked and at the same time was happy and told the monkey she too loved him… so they walked off in the sunset…

SO yeah…. I wrote that in a 5 page essay which was way more detailed…. but that's teh summary of it….

Oh and I got an A+….everyone had either a B or less which was quite humorous….

(I thought I'd fail >.>)

AQua_ng
“Enemy lasanga, robust below wax. Semi-automatic aqua, accompany slacks?”

Nice, Lemon Demon.