Schedule:
Planning ~ Now - July
FYC Pages Accepted ~ May 28th - June 30th
The Drunk Duck Award Design Contest
Submissions ~ June 3rd - June 9th
Voting ~ June 10th - June 16th
Drunk Duck Awards Voting Opens ~ July 1st - July 28th
Tie Breakers (as needed) ~ July 29th - August 4th
Finalists Announced/Volunteers Assigned ~ August 5th - August 11th
Judging ~ August 12th - September 22nd
Emergency Wrap Up ~ September 23rd - October 6th
The Ceremony Begins ~ October 8th
We have done the For Your Consideration comics in three different ways.
1. Free for all - people just submit pages that say what they want their comics to be nominated for. There are not too many guidelines.
2. Theme - similar to above, but the pages have to match with an overarching theme. Sometimes, there are introduction and conclusion pages.
3. Comic Jam - the pages contribute to telling a story, but there are limits to how many people can participate due to time restrictions.
Personally, I like option two the best because it tells a loose story, but doesn't limit how many people participate.
Opening up discussions for this year, does anyone have any opinions about the FYC?
Comic Talk and General Discussion *
Drunk Duck Awards 2018 - Planning
Niccea
at 1:57PM, April 15, 2018
last edited on May 8, 2018 5:55PM
usedbooks
at 2:17PM, April 15, 2018
Option two would be my preference too. It's flexible but also adds a fun story element and interest to it.
Emevsa
at 3:30PM, April 15, 2018
I really like the idea of option 2. Plus the theme could carry over to the award ceremony as a nice book end.
IronHorseComics
at 5:19AM, April 16, 2018
You can read Fluffy 500 right here! https://www.theduckwebcomics.com/Fluffy_500/
bravo1102
at 5:52AM, April 16, 2018
Option two. Open ended enough for everyone to participate but enough common content to tell a cute story.
AmeliaP
at 7:22AM, April 16, 2018
I'm going with option #2. Because we can do a cool image compilation to convince the voters.
KimLuster
at 7:53AM, April 16, 2018
Looks like I'm not gonna buck a trend - option 2 appeals to me the most as well!
Call Me Tom
at 8:43AM, April 16, 2018
Option 2. It's nice to have a theme running thru the FYCs but the comic jam is to much.
I'm sorry for any offence I cause.
Tantz_Aerine
at 3:10PM, April 16, 2018
I was more inclined to option 1 (HA, here, I bucked the trend for you guys) but option 2 is also quite fun provided the connecting story is really loose so people have no restrictions in participation and opportunities to show off what they want readers to FYC their comic on..
agentny003
at 6:21PM, April 17, 2018
El Cid
at 6:25PM, April 17, 2018
Genejoke
at 12:03AM, April 18, 2018
Option 3… just to be awkward.
Nah, that does make stuff harder. So let's plum with option 1.
Nah, that does make stuff harder. So let's plum with option 1.
Niccea
at 10:47AM, April 18, 2018
Genejoke wrote:
Option 3… just to be awkward.
Nah, that does make stuff harder. So let's plum with option 1.
The one and only time we did the comic jam, it did have a good tie together. David and Chloe somehow made it to the awards.
Though I prefer to have a rough theme, we have had wonderful fyc runs underneath all options.
One thing I have done before when we had a theme was post the people that stuck with the theme. Or asked for a token tie in. For example: this page when the theme was to hunt for a new awards venue
Would that be a good compromise, or do we just want to do all or nothing?
last edited on April 18, 2018 10:54AM
Albino Ginger
at 7:22AM, April 21, 2018
Niccea
at 5:43PM, April 21, 2018
Albino Ginger wrote:There is, I just need to copy/ paste it from last year.
I like number 1. I’m not a big fan of guidelines, but i’m ok with whatever.
Also is there a list of categories the comics can be nominated for? If not will one be made?
Niccea
at 11:07AM, April 23, 2018
I put in dates for the schedule, but I'm still open to adjustments.
Planning ~ Now - July
FYC Pages Accepted ~ May 28th - June 30th
The Drunk Duck Award Design Contest
Submissions ~ June 3rd - June 9th
Voting ~ June 10th - June 16th
Drunk Duck Awards Voting Opens ~ July 1st - July 28th
Tie Breakers (as needed) ~ July 29th - August 4th
Finalists Announced/Volunteers Assigned ~ August 5th - August 11th
Judging ~ August 12th - September 22nd
Emergency Wrap Up ~ September 23rd - October 6th
The Ceremony Begins ~ October 8th
Planning ~ Now - July
FYC Pages Accepted ~ May 28th - June 30th
The Drunk Duck Award Design Contest
Submissions ~ June 3rd - June 9th
Voting ~ June 10th - June 16th
Drunk Duck Awards Voting Opens ~ July 1st - July 28th
Tie Breakers (as needed) ~ July 29th - August 4th
Finalists Announced/Volunteers Assigned ~ August 5th - August 11th
Judging ~ August 12th - September 22nd
Emergency Wrap Up ~ September 23rd - October 6th
The Ceremony Begins ~ October 8th
last edited on May 8, 2018 5:56PM
Niccea
at 5:21PM, April 23, 2018
Might help if I put up the categories, eh?
GENRE AWARDS
Best Adventure Comic:
Quests, missions, explorations, and/or other dangerous or exciting ventures.
Best Adult-oriented Comic:
A-rated comics. XXX No one under 18 admitted! Live nudes! Or excessive violence. Or both!
Best All Ages Comic:
Child-friendly comics that the whole family can enjoy.
Best Anthropomorphic Comic:
They act like people and think like people, but they look like foxes or dolphins or toasters.
Best Community Project:
Comics and projects that bring together a variety of DD members for
massive synergy! (DD Awards are not eligible, for giving ourselves an
award would create a paradox vortex from which there is no escape.)
Best Drama:
A story focused on a real world setting and is character-driven with a focus on emotions. Courtroom dramas, medical dramas, crime dramas, romantic dramas, high school dramas (but when is high school not dramatic?), etc.
Best Fantasy Comic:
Magical, mythical, mystical, marvelous. Comics set in fantastical
settings, involving magic or mythical creatures, abilities, or beings.
Best Horror Comic:
The dark, scary, and twisted. Monsters, psychological thrillers, and
ax-wielding psychos all have their place among these wonderfully
horrific comics.
Best Humor Comic:
Gags, jokes, lols, roflmaos, and such. Format and subject matter aren't important. It just has to make you laugh.
Best Mystery/Crime/Noir:
Crime drama, police, mobsters, mysteries, hard-boiled detectives, and/or meddling kids.
Best Parody/Tribute:
Comics that use the characters, worlds, or creations of other creators. It's not copyright infringement! It's an homage!
Best Philosophical/Political Comic:
Make-you-think comics that address deep topics from the spiritual and philosophical to the cultural or political.
Best Sci-fi Comic:
A form of speculative fiction so named because the fantastical
elements are rooted in or explained by actual or fictional scientific
theory.
Best Superhero Comic:
Too super for other categories.
~~~~~
STYLE AWARDS
Best Action Within A Comic :
Chase scenes, fights, big explosions; CRASH POW ZOOM – you know the stuff
Best Manga Style Comic:
Comics inspired by the artistic style and conventions of Japanese cartooning.
Most Deliciously Offensive:
These f can be good, bad, or other.
~~~~~
USER AWARDS
Outstanding Achievement Within the Community:
The
user that will win this award is always there to particpate in the
community no matter what. These people show their support for the site
within the forums and by participating in community projects.
Most Dedicated Creator:
That creator who seems to be a page-making machine, every day on
time – or maybe the one who has been at it forever and has a thousand
pages of the most amazing quality – or the one who is updating five
different regular comics on a schedule. Whatever they are doing, they
sure are DEDICATED.
Most Supportive Reader:
Maybe they leave the most comments or the most insightful ones, or
they draw wonderful fanart, or they are always available to discuss your
script ideas or send you cards when you're on hiatus.
Best Newcomer Award
Awarded to a newcomer who has come to the site who has really stood out. They could be creators or dedicated readers
~~~~~
THE BIG ONES
Best Completed Comic:
Comics that were concluded sometime between July 2017 and now. (Indefinite hiatus doesn't count.)
Best Overall Comic Strip:
Best webcomic with stand-alone updates or short, unrelated story arcs, usually in a horizontal or vertical strip format.
Best Overall Story Comic:
Best webcomic that tells a continuous story, usually in full page format.
~~~~~
Create Your Own Award
Didn't see the proper award for the comic/person you were thinking of on this
list? Make one up. Create your own award and give it a winner. Best
awards will be chosen by a dedicated team of judges.
Last call to make changes to categories (and to help with a short description for the Drama A.ward)
~~~~~
OTHER AWARDS
Readers' Choice Award: Presented to the comic that received the most votes overall.
Best Presenter Award: Presented after the regular awards. Readers vote for their favorite presenter.
GENRE AWARDS
Best Adventure Comic:
Quests, missions, explorations, and/or other dangerous or exciting ventures.
Best Adult-oriented Comic:
A-rated comics. XXX No one under 18 admitted! Live nudes! Or excessive violence. Or both!
Best All Ages Comic:
Child-friendly comics that the whole family can enjoy.
Best Anthropomorphic Comic:
They act like people and think like people, but they look like foxes or dolphins or toasters.
Best Community Project:
Comics and projects that bring together a variety of DD members for
massive synergy! (DD Awards are not eligible, for giving ourselves an
award would create a paradox vortex from which there is no escape.)
Best Drama:
A story focused on a real world setting and is character-driven with a focus on emotions. Courtroom dramas, medical dramas, crime dramas, romantic dramas, high school dramas (but when is high school not dramatic?), etc.
Best Fantasy Comic:
Magical, mythical, mystical, marvelous. Comics set in fantastical
settings, involving magic or mythical creatures, abilities, or beings.
Best Horror Comic:
The dark, scary, and twisted. Monsters, psychological thrillers, and
ax-wielding psychos all have their place among these wonderfully
horrific comics.
Best Humor Comic:
Gags, jokes, lols, roflmaos, and such. Format and subject matter aren't important. It just has to make you laugh.
Best Mystery/Crime/Noir:
Crime drama, police, mobsters, mysteries, hard-boiled detectives, and/or meddling kids.
Best Parody/Tribute:
Comics that use the characters, worlds, or creations of other creators. It's not copyright infringement! It's an homage!
Best Philosophical/Political Comic:
Make-you-think comics that address deep topics from the spiritual and philosophical to the cultural or political.
Best Sci-fi Comic:
A form of speculative fiction so named because the fantastical
elements are rooted in or explained by actual or fictional scientific
theory.
Best Superhero Comic:
Too super for other categories.
~~~~~
STYLE AWARDS
Best Action Within A Comic :
Chase scenes, fights, big explosions; CRASH POW ZOOM – you know the stuff
Best Manga Style Comic:
Comics inspired by the artistic style and conventions of Japanese cartooning.
Most Deliciously Offensive:
These f can be good, bad, or other.
~~~~~
USER AWARDS
Outstanding Achievement Within the Community:
The
user that will win this award is always there to particpate in the
community no matter what. These people show their support for the site
within the forums and by participating in community projects.
Most Dedicated Creator:
That creator who seems to be a page-making machine, every day on
time – or maybe the one who has been at it forever and has a thousand
pages of the most amazing quality – or the one who is updating five
different regular comics on a schedule. Whatever they are doing, they
sure are DEDICATED.
Most Supportive Reader:
Maybe they leave the most comments or the most insightful ones, or
they draw wonderful fanart, or they are always available to discuss your
script ideas or send you cards when you're on hiatus.
Best Newcomer Award
Awarded to a newcomer who has come to the site who has really stood out. They could be creators or dedicated readers
~~~~~
THE BIG ONES
Best Completed Comic:
Comics that were concluded sometime between July 2017 and now. (Indefinite hiatus doesn't count.)
Best Overall Comic Strip:
Best webcomic with stand-alone updates or short, unrelated story arcs, usually in a horizontal or vertical strip format.
Best Overall Story Comic:
Best webcomic that tells a continuous story, usually in full page format.
~~~~~
Create Your Own Award
Didn't see the proper award for the comic/person you were thinking of on this
list? Make one up. Create your own award and give it a winner. Best
awards will be chosen by a dedicated team of judges.
Last call to make changes to categories (and to help with a short description for the Drama A.ward)
~~~~~
OTHER AWARDS
Readers' Choice Award: Presented to the comic that received the most votes overall.
Best Presenter Award: Presented after the regular awards. Readers vote for their favorite presenter.
last edited on April 23, 2018 5:23PM
Niccea
at 4:34AM, May 8, 2018
Ok. Kawaii, the Awards Publicist, is really getting some people chomping at the bit to get started, so I'm going to move conversation along.
To compromise between the two camps how about a real simple theme?
My idea: movies
Since the awards are the Oscars of DD, how about we do something movie related. This gives a big range. People can make their pages to look like movie posters. Or even make them like those trailers that run around the season “nominated for 3 awards,” “plymayer gives 5 stars,” “featured in May 2018,” etc. Or even give us behind the scenes that looks at what your characters do to make their comic.
That a good compromise?
And any change suggestions to the category list. It is HUGE.
To compromise between the two camps how about a real simple theme?
My idea: movies
Since the awards are the Oscars of DD, how about we do something movie related. This gives a big range. People can make their pages to look like movie posters. Or even make them like those trailers that run around the season “nominated for 3 awards,” “plymayer gives 5 stars,” “featured in May 2018,” etc. Or even give us behind the scenes that looks at what your characters do to make their comic.
That a good compromise?
And any change suggestions to the category list. It is HUGE.
last edited on May 8, 2018 10:50AM
bravo1102
at 6:17AM, May 8, 2018
That's right up my alley since most of my comics are supposed to be motion pictures.
ashtree house
at 9:49AM, May 8, 2018
Niccea
at 10:48AM, May 8, 2018
bravo1102 wrote:
That's right up my alley since most of my comics are supposed to be motion pictures.
I confess I was inspired by some of your previous extras and FYCs
Tantz_Aerine
at 1:42PM, May 8, 2018
I have been wondering for some years, if we have a Best Manga category, shouldn't we have more categories along that line, like Best Cartoon or Best Realism or some such thing? I am not sure how I'd name them per se but why not?
Also, perhaps the Philosophical/Political category should be split or rephrased? Philosophical and Political aren't the same thing. Also, they might be too narrow.
Finally, how about a Best Historical category? It can include any webcomic that has a researched historical element not just full blown historical like mine. Especially since lately we have a few new good ones.
Also, perhaps the Philosophical/Political category should be split or rephrased? Philosophical and Political aren't the same thing. Also, they might be too narrow.
Finally, how about a Best Historical category? It can include any webcomic that has a researched historical element not just full blown historical like mine. Especially since lately we have a few new good ones.
Niccea
at 6:10PM, May 8, 2018
Tantz_Aerine wrote:The lazy answer is tradition. I've been lobbying to remove manga style for years, but I haven't gained traction. I try not the arbitrarily make changes to the awards because they are supposed to be user run not Niccea dictated.
I have been wondering for some years, if we have a Best Manga category, shouldn't we have more categories along that line, like Best Cartoon or Best Realism or some such thing? I am not sure how I'd name them per se but why not?
Also, perhaps the Philosophical/Political category should be split or rephrased? Philosophical and Political aren't the same thing. Also, they might be too narrow.
Finally, how about a Best Historical category? It can include any webcomic that has a researched historical element not just full blown historical like mine. Especially since lately we have a few new good ones.
Philosophical/Political were combined at one point because neither stand alone category had enough contenders to merit keeping them separate, and they were closish. But, I think that the demographics have change enough to split them or drop one.
All that being said, we barely get enough volunteers to judge or present the categories that we do have. So, logistically, I would prefer to cut categories rather than add. But, once again, my word isn't law on this. I would like to hear other opinions.
bravo1102
at 11:03PM, May 8, 2018
I think manga has come back on DD so there could be some competition. We really didn't have that many historical comics until this year but if we have the crime category, you could argue for historical.
But I don't think so. I think a best historical for now would be in the “create your own” category (along with a best researched award perhaps). And since most are dramas– best drama.
Some of the categories are just under nominated because the readers just aren't voting. I think I proved with Da-tu back in Tales of SIG that the thing about the character awards is on the creator going out and campaigning for the character as opposed to just hoping the readers will notice.
When it comes to voting the people are going to remember the creator who suggested a character and vote for that character. Or it'll just go to Kimber Lee because when asked that's all anyone can remember then after the award goes to her because only that character got more than 2 votes people will hit their head saying “Oh yeah, X from Comic Y! I should have voted for her! Love that character!”
Best completed could benefit from someone listing the completed comics since July 2017 so people actually know what comic is eligible.
But I don't think so. I think a best historical for now would be in the “create your own” category (along with a best researched award perhaps). And since most are dramas– best drama.
Some of the categories are just under nominated because the readers just aren't voting. I think I proved with Da-tu back in Tales of SIG that the thing about the character awards is on the creator going out and campaigning for the character as opposed to just hoping the readers will notice.
When it comes to voting the people are going to remember the creator who suggested a character and vote for that character. Or it'll just go to Kimber Lee because when asked that's all anyone can remember then after the award goes to her because only that character got more than 2 votes people will hit their head saying “Oh yeah, X from Comic Y! I should have voted for her! Love that character!”
Best completed could benefit from someone listing the completed comics since July 2017 so people actually know what comic is eligible.
KimLuster
at 1:06PM, May 11, 2018
I can only think of a few that maybe could be combined… B
Maybe Drama could be combined with Mystery/Crime/Noir (these are really subcategories of drama…) Maybe Adventure too… with the category being called Best Adventure/Drama (those are closer in nature than political/philosophical IMO…
Other than Tradition, I don't see why Manga has it's own category. Most see Manga these days as just a stylistic way of drawing. It's like having a category for most realistic or abstract or cartoony!
Traditional Medium could maybe be combined with Non-traditional, and it's simply who is the Best at using whatever Medium they chose (cuz my current comic has both lol!) And the two are merging anyway… FC won best Traditional last year even though his stuff is totally digital, because he's such a master at making using traditional techniques with digital…
But… I'm totally fine with leaving them all too!!
Maybe Drama could be combined with Mystery/Crime/Noir (these are really subcategories of drama…) Maybe Adventure too… with the category being called Best Adventure/Drama (those are closer in nature than political/philosophical IMO…
Other than Tradition, I don't see why Manga has it's own category. Most see Manga these days as just a stylistic way of drawing. It's like having a category for most realistic or abstract or cartoony!
Traditional Medium could maybe be combined with Non-traditional, and it's simply who is the Best at using whatever Medium they chose (cuz my current comic has both lol!) And the two are merging anyway… FC won best Traditional last year even though his stuff is totally digital, because he's such a master at making using traditional techniques with digital…
But… I'm totally fine with leaving them all too!!
Genejoke
at 3:51PM, May 11, 2018
Traditional Medium could maybe be combined with Non-traditional, and it's simply who is the Best at using whatever Medium they chose (cuz my current comic has both lol!) And the two are merging anyway… FC won best Traditional last year even though his stuff is totally digital, because he's such a master at making using traditional techniques with digital…
Non traditional used to be best 3D/poser comic and best photo comic and they got combined afaik. Where as traditional meant drawn comics, regardless of being done digitally. Could they be broken up differently perhaps?
I think it's good to recognise different art types, but it can get a bit fuzzy.
bravo1102
at 6:53AM, May 12, 2018
Okay, I'm the twit who came up with the non-traditional medium by combining Best Poser/3D and Best Photo and even Best Sprite. It includes everything that isn't a drawing or a digital representation thereof. It also includes mediums like paper dolls and macaroni art and mixed media that is hard to define(say if someone did photos with drawn backgrounds and props)
Traditional is standard art or the digital facsimile thereof, so it's everything from scanned pencil sketches to watercolor to fully professional digital artwork. Non-traditional is everything else. We settled on Non-traditional because it was the best compromise, keep-it-short-and-simple catch-all phrase that refers back to the original category. In other words idiot-proof with no over thinking.
Drama, adventure and crime/mystery all get their own fair share of nominations so combining them would just confuse things. Might as well combine Sci-fi/fantasy or aren't superhero comics actually a part of fantasy or sci-fi? No, all the separate genres are still dominant and have independent fan bases so they're all still valid.
And manga? Sure it's an art style, but it's so distinct. You can have the whole blown manga experience, manga parodies or even detailed comics done in the style that are fusions of both. It's more than just a way of drawing with all it's own conventions and it gets multiple nominations.
Combining categories is best done with things that are just dead categories that get no nomination with more than one vote or barely any votes at all.
I think a lot about this while trying desperately not to overthink it.
Also comics that cross genre deserve recognition for that and should get it in the nomination process. An example: I've suggested Sword of Kings for best drama rather than best fantasy because it's more character driven than fantasy driven. No reason why best manga shouldn't bleed over into best adventure or best superhero.
A couple of years ago, I would have been all in favor of ditching best manga, but it's made a come-back on DD.
Keep Best Philosophical/Political together because there just aren't enough comics to justify separating them, though it might be strange having to consider Inspirational House cat versus Without Moonlight could be considered to both fit. However politics could be defined as being all about selling a philosophy so it may be a better fit than you'd think.
And there's no reason why Best Drama shouldn't include the historical pieces. Honestly I can count the number of true historical pieces on my fingers.. and they're all dramas. No one here is doing silly slapstick rendition of the French Revolution or a Moliere piece for example so there are no historical comedies.
If you notice there just technical, performer and whole package awards at the Academy Awards. The Golden Globes recognize genres because those are given by primarily by writers. The Tonys recognize genres since Rogers and Hammerstein is so different from Ibsen or Moliere.
Genre awards recognize the distinctness of those genres. Science Fiction can be very dramatic and character driven but it's still scientifically based extrapolation and if truly a great drama could be recognized in both categories like Interstellar Blood Beasts was nominated for both best Horror and best Sci-fi because it excited readers as both.
And I'm rambling. Just stuff to think about and of course standing behind my Non-traditional medium award thing to make up for Poser/3D, photo and Sprite.
Traditional is standard art or the digital facsimile thereof, so it's everything from scanned pencil sketches to watercolor to fully professional digital artwork. Non-traditional is everything else. We settled on Non-traditional because it was the best compromise, keep-it-short-and-simple catch-all phrase that refers back to the original category. In other words idiot-proof with no over thinking.
Drama, adventure and crime/mystery all get their own fair share of nominations so combining them would just confuse things. Might as well combine Sci-fi/fantasy or aren't superhero comics actually a part of fantasy or sci-fi? No, all the separate genres are still dominant and have independent fan bases so they're all still valid.
And manga? Sure it's an art style, but it's so distinct. You can have the whole blown manga experience, manga parodies or even detailed comics done in the style that are fusions of both. It's more than just a way of drawing with all it's own conventions and it gets multiple nominations.
Combining categories is best done with things that are just dead categories that get no nomination with more than one vote or barely any votes at all.
I think a lot about this while trying desperately not to overthink it.
Also comics that cross genre deserve recognition for that and should get it in the nomination process. An example: I've suggested Sword of Kings for best drama rather than best fantasy because it's more character driven than fantasy driven. No reason why best manga shouldn't bleed over into best adventure or best superhero.
A couple of years ago, I would have been all in favor of ditching best manga, but it's made a come-back on DD.
Keep Best Philosophical/Political together because there just aren't enough comics to justify separating them, though it might be strange having to consider Inspirational House cat versus Without Moonlight could be considered to both fit. However politics could be defined as being all about selling a philosophy so it may be a better fit than you'd think.
And there's no reason why Best Drama shouldn't include the historical pieces. Honestly I can count the number of true historical pieces on my fingers.. and they're all dramas. No one here is doing silly slapstick rendition of the French Revolution or a Moliere piece for example so there are no historical comedies.
If you notice there just technical, performer and whole package awards at the Academy Awards. The Golden Globes recognize genres because those are given by primarily by writers. The Tonys recognize genres since Rogers and Hammerstein is so different from Ibsen or Moliere.
Genre awards recognize the distinctness of those genres. Science Fiction can be very dramatic and character driven but it's still scientifically based extrapolation and if truly a great drama could be recognized in both categories like Interstellar Blood Beasts was nominated for both best Horror and best Sci-fi because it excited readers as both.
And I'm rambling. Just stuff to think about and of course standing behind my Non-traditional medium award thing to make up for Poser/3D, photo and Sprite.
fallopiancrusader
at 12:18PM, May 13, 2018
@bravo1102: You've just inspired me to do a slapstick rendition of the French revolution! Bozo meets Robespierre, perhaps?
bravo1102
at 5:22PM, May 13, 2018
fallopiancrusader wrote:See Gene Wilder and Donald Sutherland in Start the Revolution Without Me or the film I actually showed to my 9th grade history class History of the World part one
@bravo1102: You've just inspired me to do a slapstick rendition of the French revolution! Bozo meets Robespierre, perhaps?
Any last request?
Novocaine.
No such thing known to medical science!
I'll wait.
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