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I'm supposed to kill somebody... I don't want to.
Fuzzy Modem at 9:06PM, Oct. 16, 2007
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There are two things in my house that do not belong here.

The first is a nice black suit. It is not mine.

The second is a small white box, lets see, about 2.5“ x 1.5”. On this little box there is a red light and a protective slider. Pushing the slider up reveals a single orange button.

The little white box
TRANSMITTER
Model: WB-2000T

It goes on to tell me that it takes 6 volt batteries and complies with part 15 of FCC regulations. It was made in china.

Back to the suit. The brand is Hugo Boss. (I really wish I had a working camera.)

I'm 6'2" tall. I have a great deal of difficulty finding clothes that fit well. This suit fits me perfectly. It consists of a broad necked black jacket, a metalic silver button-up undershirt, and two pairs of black slacks, one pinstriped. It does lack shoes however, and I really don't have a pair that would go with it.

It is not a suit a tax collector would wear. It's a suit you would wear clubbing after wrapping a soft core porn shoot.

I have asked all of my friends anywhere near my height and build. It does not belong to any of them. It should not be in my house.

Back to the little white box. I google searched the model number and found nothing, but today I talked to a friend of mine who used to work security for the airport. She said that it is, indeed, a detonator.

I can only conclude that I'm supposed to put on the suit, go to a specific place, and push the button. That only leaves when and where. I assume I'll be contacted with instructions.

I'm not at all comfortable with this.

Y'know what? My girlfriend has a camera on her phone. When she gets back from karaoke I'll take some pictures of the suit and little white box.


I've given up following my dreams. I just asked where they're going and I'm gonna meet them there.
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:32PM
usedbooks at 9:09PM, Oct. 16, 2007
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Your story has amused me.

I advise you to wait until you are notified with the price you'll be paid for this endeavor. Then decide.
last edited on July 14, 2011 4:37PM
Fuzzy Modem at 9:28PM, Oct. 16, 2007
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usedbooks
I advise you to wait until you are notified with the price you'll be paid for this endeavor. Then decide.

Wow. I didn't really think about the money… No. There's just no way. I'm a pacifist for fuck sake. Besides, if I remember correctly from watching “The Professional” (or “Leon” if your european) hit men only make $2000 a head. I mean, yeah, I got bills like everyone else, but for me to hesitate for even a second, it would have to be like… a million. I can't even pay off my truck with two grand.

And btw, I myself am not exactly convinced of my little conspiracy theory here. We just can't really figure out what else might be going on, asside from a rather elaborate practicle joke maybe, but I don't think any of my friends would think this was funny, or have the money to buy me a rather expensive looking suit just for a laugh. The whole things is just too frikin wierd…


I've given up following my dreams. I just asked where they're going and I'm gonna meet them there.
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:32PM
Priest_Revan at 9:46PM, Oct. 16, 2007
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Man, if you ain't going to do the job then let me do it. I've been waiting for my chance.




And I need a new suit… and money.
Updates Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday's (depends).

7/0

Offering Project Wonderful Ad space on my website.
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:48PM
usedbooks at 10:02PM, Oct. 16, 2007
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Other scenarios…

~The suit is a high tech robot. The white box turns it on.

~It's a gift from a secret admirer. The “transmitter” is so they can hear your reaction.

~It was delivered to the wrong place and is supposed to go to a respected scientist delivering a speech on a revolutionary invention, which the white box is part of.

~A porn star really was going to wear the suit to go clubbing. The box is a remote control for a one-speed adult toy of some sort.

~You were slipped roofies by some rich woman who bought you the suit and did God-knows-what. The box is to buzz her for an encore.

~You are in the wrong house. Check the address. Perhaps someone coincidentally owns all the same stuff as you – plus a suit and a white box.
last edited on July 14, 2011 4:37PM
Rutger at 3:39AM, Oct. 17, 2007
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I'll push the button, if you'd like. I've got my very own, dark-blue Hugo Boss suit already.

Come to think of it, I'm not sure where that came from…my mom got it from some place, but she never actually told me where that was…

In any case, my advise would be to sit tight, and see what happens. It's probably a big practical joke, like you said.

K.A.L.A.-dan! rutGAR desu!
last edited on July 14, 2011 3:13PM
SamGolden at 6:23AM, Oct. 17, 2007
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the detonator is for the hugo boss suit it comes as standard these days

where the suit came from is still a MYSTERRRRYYYYY though
http://www.samgolden.co.uk - a weekly webcomic to get drunk and fall down stairs with!
last edited on July 14, 2011 3:21PM
Rutger at 6:24AM, Oct. 17, 2007
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I've got it.
Space aliens.

K.A.L.A.-dan! rutGAR desu!
last edited on July 14, 2011 3:13PM
crazyninny at 6:46AM, Oct. 17, 2007
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I sense either a really good comic story, or your secertly being video tapped as we speak by a movie company.

Well! It was nice knowing you!
last edited on July 14, 2011 11:48AM
subcultured at 7:23AM, Oct. 17, 2007
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yer a brainwashed cell terrrorist leader and someone forgot to give you the magic word “cratoa”
J
last edited on July 14, 2011 4:03PM
suzi at 7:42AM, Oct. 17, 2007
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Dude, is this serious? Wtf?
last edited on July 14, 2011 4:05PM
Rutger at 9:24AM, Oct. 17, 2007
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suzi
Dude, is this serious? Wtf?

You're the one with ‘Detective’ written under your av…HELP US SOLVE THE MYSTERY!

K.A.L.A.-dan! rutGAR desu!
last edited on July 14, 2011 3:13PM
Hapoppo at 9:40AM, Oct. 17, 2007
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She doesn't have her mutant talking dog with her right now. This mystery's gonna have to wait.
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:42PM
Puff_Of_Smoke at 9:45AM, Oct. 17, 2007
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usedbooks
Your story has amused me.

What she said.
I
I have a gun. It's really powerful. Especially against living things.
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:54PM
Rutger at 10:04AM, Oct. 17, 2007
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Hapoppo
She doesn't have her mutant talking dog with her right now. This mystery's gonna have to wait.

For a dog like that, I'll wait!

K.A.L.A.-dan! rutGAR desu!
last edited on July 14, 2011 3:13PM
Fuzzy Modem at 11:16AM, Oct. 17, 2007
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Sorry no pics yet. I think I'm just gonna borrow a camera from work tonight.


I've given up following my dreams. I just asked where they're going and I'm gonna meet them there.
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:32PM
carly_mizzou at 12:11PM, Oct. 17, 2007
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Rutger
I'll push the button, if you'd like. I've got my very own, dark-blue Hugo Boss suit already.

Come to think of it, I'm not sure where that came from…my mom got it from some place, but she never actually told me where that was…

I've got it Rutger's mom got you the suit! uh…no I shouldn't have gone there…
last edited on July 14, 2011 11:36AM
Custard Trout at 12:31PM, Oct. 17, 2007
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The fish are reclaiming the land, they are using you as an unwitting double agent.

Seriously though, press the button. PRESS IT!
Hey buddy, you should be a Russian Cosmonaut, and here's why.
last edited on July 14, 2011 11:59AM
Rutger at 12:42PM, Oct. 17, 2007
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carly_mizzou
Rutger
I'll push the button, if you'd like. I've got my very own, dark-blue Hugo Boss suit already.

Come to think of it, I'm not sure where that came from…my mom got it from some place, but she never actually told me where that was…

I've got it Rutger's mom got you the suit! uh…no I shouldn't have gone there…

Now you did dun do it! *pokes you in the shoulder*

LEAVE MAH SUIT OUTTA THIS!

K.A.L.A.-dan! rutGAR desu!
last edited on July 14, 2011 3:13PM
suzi at 3:03PM, Oct. 17, 2007
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Just got an idea.

Ask /b/ on 4chan. They'll tell you what to do.
last edited on July 14, 2011 4:05PM
Terminal at 3:08PM, Oct. 17, 2007
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suzi
Just got an idea.

Ask /b/ on 4chan. They'll tell you what to do.

'Tis true. Much knowledge can be provided.
last edited on July 14, 2011 4:12PM
Bekefel at 3:12PM, Oct. 17, 2007
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Terminal
suzi
Just got an idea.

Ask /b/ on 4chan. They'll tell you what to do.

'Tis true. Much knowledge can be provided.

anon1: hey guys, what should i do today?
anon2: killself.
anon1: okay.
anon3: lol.
anon4: lol.
anon5: lol.
anon1: oh shit guys, theres blood everywhere!
anon2,anon3,anon4: ...
anon1,anon3,anon4 quit the chat.
anon5: lol.
anon5 has quit the chat.

That actually happened and a man died, nobody laugh.
Please, please, you give me too little credit.
last edited on July 14, 2011 11:18AM
Atom Apple at 3:15PM, Oct. 17, 2007
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Bekefel
anon1: hey guys, what should i do today?
anon2: killself.
anon1: okay.
anon3: lol.
anon4: lol.
anon5: lol.
anon1: oh shit guys, theres blood everywhere!
anon2,anon3,anon4: ...
anon1,anon3,anon4 quit the chat.
anon5: lol.
anon5 has quit the chat.

That actually happened and a man died, nobody laugh.
LOL!
i will also like to know you the more
last edited on July 14, 2011 11:05AM
Bekefel at 3:33PM, Oct. 17, 2007
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Atom Apple
Bekefel
anon1: hey guys, what should i do today?
anon2: killself.
anon1: okay.
anon3: lol.
anon4: lol.
anon5: lol.
anon1: oh shit guys, theres blood everywhere!
anon2,anon3,anon4: ...
anon1,anon3,anon4 quit the chat.
anon5: lol.
anon5 has quit the chat.

That actually happened and a man died, nobody laugh.
LOL!

Ah hell, I lol'd too.
Please, please, you give me too little credit.
last edited on July 14, 2011 11:18AM
FoxmanZEO at 4:29PM, Oct. 17, 2007
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Take the box apart. c:
'Who must do the hard things?

He who can.'


-Confucius.
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:30PM
hpkomic at 4:41PM, Oct. 17, 2007
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suzi
Just got an idea.

Ask /b/ on 4chan. They'll tell you what to do.

Rules one and two.
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:50PM
Fuzzy Modem at 6:08PM, Oct. 17, 2007
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posts: 217
joined: 9-17-2007
hpkomic
suzi
Just got an idea.

Ask /b/ on 4chan. They'll tell you what to do.

Rules one and two.

??? and a “huh?”


I've given up following my dreams. I just asked where they're going and I'm gonna meet them there.
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:32PM
FoxmanZEO at 6:24PM, Oct. 17, 2007
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posts: 317
joined: 2-20-2006
Fuzzy Modem
??? and a “huh?”
Worry not, young prince, their affairs are not of this world, and do not affect you.
Unless you act like a jerk.
'Who must do the hard things?

He who can.'


-Confucius.
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:30PM
Fuzzy Modem at 11:05PM, Oct. 17, 2007
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posts: 217
joined: 9-17-2007
I just spent an hour and a half ing with Motorola's PC phone tools, because they can't be bothered to make their flash memory readable as external storage. It's quite intentional. They want you to email the pictures to yourself so they can charge you .75 cents each. And after two hours I find out the free version of the program that took a half an hour to download over broadband, and another twenty minutes of updates so it could install a bunch of I don't want is also gimped so I can't remove images with it. No “shareware” warning before started downloading like a decent company would have done, just a missing icon. Not even grayed out. Not there at all. If I want that “feature” I'm gonna have to buy a 50 dollar software suite. .

Flash memory is plug and play / drag and drop. Motorola intentionally made their product difficult to use and wasted two hours of my life so they could pitch me more ty software.

Welcome Motorola, to my personal boycott list. Have fun down there with AOL, Cell One, Wells Fargo and Walmart. Rot in hell.

Y'know what? If by some bizzare coincidence the mission is to bomb the software design department of Motorola, I will do it for fucking free.

Pictures tomorrow night. I'll borrow a camera from work.


I've given up following my dreams. I just asked where they're going and I'm gonna meet them there.
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:32PM
DAJB at 12:15AM, Oct. 18, 2007
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joined: 2-23-2007
So … the bigger mystery is … how do you know what porn stars wear to go clubbing after a shoot?

Are you one? Or do you just stalk them?
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:03PM

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