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Mafia XLI: Crash Landing
Salsa at 4:06PM, March 23, 2011
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Alright then. I'll give every twenty minutes to get any last minute votes in. In the meantime, I need a shower.

Oh and everyone has voted seventy2 since the last update, so yeah.
RAGE!
last edited on July 14, 2011 3:19PM
Salsa at 5:09PM, March 23, 2011
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Final Narration!
The remaining troops assembled around the dais that had been the place where suspected traitors had been shot.

“Well,” said the People's Recruiter Lieutenant in an uncharacteristically good mood, “We seem to be doing pretty good. Now, who's the Chief.”

“ME!”

Every turned towards seventy2 dressed as Rambo.

“And I challenge you to MORTAL KOMBAT!”

“Okay, your weapon?”

“This knife!”

The crowd shuffled back as seventy2 executed an amazing display of showmanship with a very long very sharp knife.

“Ready,” asked Salsa.

“Always!”

BOOM!


Seventy2 the Chief shoulda brought a gun.


“Okay, now that that's ov- Where's D_Dude and Product Placement?”

—-

“Check in three,” said Product Placement as he finished moving a rook into position to begin his end-game.

“Yeah, yeah,” replied D_Dude, the medic that had kept watch over the tank driver since they had both been drafted. He picked up and moved a pawn to threaten the rook.

“Well, look at it this way, your game has gotten remarkable better,” said Product.

“I guess it's because I always have to play a master.”

The hatch quietly opened as the Recon Pilot slipped through. He brought his knife up to the same height as D_Dude's throat. D_Dude began to move a piece, seemingly oblivious to the danger he was in.

Seemingly oblivious is not the same as oblivious as the Recon pilot felt a prick in his arm and suddenly fell unconscience.


therealtj the Recon Pilot has been caught.


“Checkmate,” said D_Dude as if nothing had happened.

“Well, I'll be.”

—-

After hearing that the Recon Pilot had been caught, Gullas had once again found himself in the company of Ochi and TFGM.

He was busy ignoring them as they talked about how scared they had been and how upset Ochi was that crocty hadn't killed her.

That's when 1337 the Black Ops attack Gullas.

“Whoa! Watch where you point that thing!”

“But you're the Chief I just KNOW it!”

“But he just had his brains blown out!”

“OH! That's what you want me to think!”

Gullas and 1337 argued as Ochi became more distraught– and angry. Finally fed up with being ignored by the three guys around her she pulled out the grenade that Crocty had shot at her.

“FINE! If you won't listen to me, maybe crocty will!”

“Where did you get that thing?”

Ochi didn't care to answer. Instead, she pulled the pin and laughed gleefully at her impending demise. 1337 ran away as fast as his legs could carry him. TFGM dived for cover.

Gullas throw Ochi at 1337.


Ochi teh INFINTOPS and 1337 the Black Ops are now devising against their rivals!


—-
Salsa sighed as he finished the report. HE rubbed his eyes and reached for the bottle of whiskey he hadn't finished off when he got drunk and shivered as the caustic fluid ate at his innards.

HE never even knew the FRO had taken the orbitals.

“ATTENTION HUMBUG GARRISON! YOU WILL SURRENDER AT ONCE!”

“Sir,” asked A Reaver wondering if he should surrender.

“Do it.”

“Why?”

“BECAUSE I HATE HATE HATE HUMBUG!”

The end.
RAGE!
last edited on July 14, 2011 3:19PM
gullas at 5:40PM, March 23, 2011
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yay… hurrah…
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:40PM
A Reaver at 5:46PM, March 23, 2011
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Didnt understand a single bit of the end narration.
Surrender what?
Thought we won. Makes no sense.
Not even a single Delorean.

Shiny new comic.
last edited on July 14, 2011 10:44AM
Product Placement at 5:52PM, March 23, 2011
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Yeah. I myself am having a hard time wrapping myself around the surrender bit. What was that all about?
Those were my two cents.
If you have any other questions, please deposit a quarter.
This space for rent.
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:53PM
seventy2 at 5:52PM, March 23, 2011
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you won the battle on the planet, but if you read the galactic updates, the Humbug was being destroyed by the FRO in the war.


I was going to turn the votes in the harko-crocty debacle, but when salsa hadn't updated, i held my vote waiting for an update. I went to eat for 20 minutes, came back, and the narration had been put up.

So i just gave up. if my friends don't live, i don't deserve to. i tried to break many people's legs, but everyone was pretty well protected this round.
facara
Running Anew an exercise blog.
I'm gonna love you till the money comes, half of it's gonna be mine someday.
last edited on July 14, 2011 3:31PM
A Reaver at 5:54PM, March 23, 2011
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seventy2
you won the battle on the planet, but if you read the galactic updates, the Humbug was being destroyed by the FRO in the war.


I was going to turn the votes in the harko-crocty debacle, but when salsa hadn't updated, i held my vote waiting for an update. I went to eat for 20 minutes, came back, and the narration had been put up.

So i just gave up. if my friends don't live, i don't deserve to. i tried to break many people's legs, but everyone was pretty well protected this round.

Fine. Ill write my own narration. With blackjack… and hookers….
In fact forget the narration.

Shiny new comic.
last edited on July 14, 2011 10:44AM
Product Placement at 5:57PM, March 23, 2011
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So we won our battle against the resistance but lost the war to some outside force that shows up all deus ex like?

…I feel cheated now.

I was gonna ask Roku to draw up a victory picture for the surviving town but now I don't see the point in it anymore.
Those were my two cents.
If you have any other questions, please deposit a quarter.
This space for rent.
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:53PM
I Am The 1337 Master at 6:03PM, March 23, 2011
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Coulda swore I was right.

I am the most useful man on earth.

I am so useful that I had to be killed in an impossible manner.

Ochi couldn't possibly have been thrown at me.

People don't throw people, people.


Shouldn't my kill have gone in first, since there's only a 99% chance anyone sent their action in before me since I sent it in right after the narration, and henceforth, I be the killer of Gullas?
(wait…paranoid…what?)


THIS DOESN'T MAKE SENSE!!!

(sorry, chips)
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:55PM
A Reaver at 6:07PM, March 23, 2011
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I Am The 1337 Master
Coulda swore I was right.

I am the most useful man on earth.

I am so useful that I had to be killed in an impossible manner.

Ochi couldn't possibly have been thrown at me.

People don't throw people, people.


Shouldn't my kill have gone in first, since there's only a 99% chance anyone sent their action in before me since I sent it in right after the narration, and henceforth, I be the killer of Gullas?
(wait…paranoid…what?)


THIS DOESN'T MAKE SENSE!!!

(sorry, chips)

Woah woah woah… you got day kills?!
Man… this game must have been what was causing my head aches.
I've been spacing out this entire time.

Shiny new comic.
last edited on July 14, 2011 10:44AM
Salsa at 6:12PM, March 23, 2011
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Uh guess now is a bad time to mention that the next GM election thread is up.

Sorry you guys feel that way about the narration. As seventy2 pointed out, the HUMBUG Military was totally inept and had no strategic thinking. It was also more concerned about a beauty pageant in the middle of a WAR. Plus it made me chuckle a little. And you could still continue on. Overthrow the current owners of the Townston System, take over HUMBUG, win the war and shoot the idiot of a GM you got saddled with. Note, I never did say what happened after I gave the order to surrender.

So really what happens next is up to you.
RAGE!
last edited on July 14, 2011 3:19PM
rokulily at 6:21PM, March 23, 2011
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…..




this is when my avi really pays off
 
last edited on July 14, 2011 3:10PM
Salsa at 7:45PM, March 23, 2011
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All right, all right, I give.

Narration +1!

Product Placement looked out over the vast Armada he had commanded to final victory. The fight against the FRO had been long and hard, and the fight against the HUMBUG's bureaucratic machinery had been even harder. But, thanks to Emperor A Reaver and the help of General 1337, he was now over the FRO capital aboard the ITNS Rokulily.

“Admiral Placement,” his Flag Lieutenant began, and Product motioned for him to continue, “We have their reply. The accept the terms of surrender. He's being sent up now.”

“Excellent.”

He looked to his second in command. Commodore D_Dude and he still played Chess and, Product had to admit, his tactical instincts were very good. He returned his gaze to bridge's viewport, and the jewel of a planet below.

“Well, my friend. It looks like we have arrived.”

“Indeed, sir,” D_Dude looked at his commanding officer, “and I have to say it's been a pleasure to be at your side.”

“Likewise.”

They both looked out at the serene vista as the quiet took over once more. Then, the flag lieutenant returned from wherever he had gone.

“Sir, their shuttle docked a few minutes and Captain Niccea is escorting him to the place, sir.”

“Good, Inform Commodore Monkey he is to over see things while the commodore and I attend to ah– an item of business.”

“At once, sir”

—-

Ex-People's Recruiter Lieutenant (Lower Middle Grade) Salsa stood at the far end the firing range that was there, officially any way, for the marines use. To day it was for something different.

“Salsa, for the crimes of Treason, Desertion of duty, and Cowardice, you are sentenced to death by firing squad. Any last words.”

“Um, where's the firing squad.”

“You are looking at it,” Replied Admiral Product Placement as he raised his pistol and squeezed the trigger.


People's Recruiter Lieutenant (Lower Middle Grade) Salsa the GM has joined the ranks of those he shot.


I hope you're all a little more satisfied with this one.
RAGE!
last edited on July 14, 2011 3:19PM
same at 7:58PM, March 23, 2011
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Satisfied.
last edited on July 14, 2011 3:21PM
Product Placement at 8:08PM, March 23, 2011
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I'll have to admit… I would very much like to know how on earth we went from being surrounded by an enemy armada, hovering over our town to taking over H.U.M.B.U.G. AND leading it to victory.

I'm gonna assume some serious bad assery.
same
Satisfied.
So you're now the artist who was formally known as Same, changed it to A reaver and is now Same again?
Those were my two cents.
If you have any other questions, please deposit a quarter.
This space for rent.
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:53PM
same at 8:28PM, March 23, 2011
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Product Placement
I'll have to admit… I would very much like to know how on earth we went from being surrounded by an enemy armada, hovering over our town to taking over H.U.M.B.U.G. AND leading it to victory.

I'm gonna assume some serious bad assery.
same
Satisfied.
So you're now the artist who was formally known as Same, changed it to A reaver and is now Same again?

The title tawwfkascitarainsa would be too hard to remember?
last edited on July 14, 2011 3:21PM
Ochitsukanai at 9:04PM, March 23, 2011
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I used abilities to confirm Hark, Ayes, TJ, and Anthony.
I solved clues for Crocty, Seventy2, BFF, and Gullas.

This is in case you got killed or lynched out of nowhere and were wondering why.

After ensuring his death, I vowed to Crocty that even if I survived, I would request to commit suicide with his grenade. Thus I faithfully avenged him, though I orchestrated his demise. This is the heart and soul of responsible rivalry.

Always, I wanna be with mew, and make believe with mew
and live in harmony harmony oh nyan
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:20PM
crocty at 11:11PM, March 23, 2011
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Ochitsukanai
Thus I faithfully avenged him
A true hero…
THIS NEW SITE SUCKS I'M LEAVING FOREVER I PROMISE, GUYS.
NOT BLUFFING, I'M GONE IF YOU DON'T FIX IT.
Oh god I'm so alone someone pay attention to me
last edited on July 14, 2011 11:54AM
therealtj at 4:31AM, March 24, 2011
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same
Didn't you have a whole spiel on your page about how you had made it impossible to get back on your account?

“The only moral it is possible to draw from this story is that one should never throw the letter Q into a privet bush, but unfortunately there are times when it is unavoidable.”
-Douglas Adams, The Restaurant At the End of the Universe
last edited on July 14, 2011 4:28PM
Rengishi at 5:58AM, March 24, 2011
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Yay I didn't die for no resonn
PSN account: OrangeDJ1
last edited on July 14, 2011 3:05PM
same at 7:53AM, March 24, 2011
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therealtj
same
Didn't you have a whole spiel on your page about how you had made it impossible to get back on your account?

I did but then I remembered I have security questions on my old email account.
last edited on July 14, 2011 3:21PM
Ochitsukanai at 10:19AM, March 24, 2011
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Product Placement
I'll have to admit… I would very much like to know how on earth we went from being surrounded by an enemy armada, hovering over our town to taking over H.U.M.B.U.G. AND leading it to victory.
Don't you see, this is where we fill the void with shitty fanfiction about ourselves. I'll be the wistful but no-nonsense ghost with nothing to lose who appears sometimes to tell you guys about your own powers.

Forgot to say, I like what Salsa did with the narrations. Like, framing narratives in other narratives, having extra bulletins, having an overarching story and world and such. I could tell he'd been planning the game for a long time.

Always, I wanna be with mew, and make believe with mew
and live in harmony harmony oh nyan
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:20PM
therealtj at 11:36AM, March 24, 2011
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same
therealtj
same
Didn't you have a whole spiel on your page about how you had made it impossible to get back on your account?

I did but then I remembered I have security questions on my old email account.

But, I mean, it's like dedicating your life to martial arts and burning down your house so you can never turn back then immediately going back and building a new house.

You just don't do it.

“The only moral it is possible to draw from this story is that one should never throw the letter Q into a privet bush, but unfortunately there are times when it is unavoidable.”
-Douglas Adams, The Restaurant At the End of the Universe
last edited on July 14, 2011 4:28PM
Product Placement at 11:37AM, March 24, 2011
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Ochitsukanai
I could tell he'd been planning the game for a long time.
What on earth gave you that impression?








Edit: I'm actually going to miss seeing these around in every GM election.

Salsa really should get a title for being the most persistent GM candidate.
Those were my two cents.
If you have any other questions, please deposit a quarter.
This space for rent.
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:53PM
same at 11:45AM, March 24, 2011
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Salsa the stubborn.
last edited on July 14, 2011 3:21PM
seventy2 at 4:02PM, March 24, 2011
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facara
Running Anew an exercise blog.
I'm gonna love you till the money comes, half of it's gonna be mine someday.
last edited on July 14, 2011 3:31PM
Mettaur at 6:45PM, March 24, 2011
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So, who was right the entire time?

That's right, this grunt had the right hunch. Turns out following the clues and actually trying to make a different, does help.
Been years since I was here. I've been at rehab since. So uh. Yknow, things got interesting.
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:01PM
same at 7:06PM, March 24, 2011
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Mettaur
So, who was right the entire time?

That's right, this grunt had the right hunch. Turns out following the clues and actually trying to make a different, does help.

Well I was right about that whole breathing thing.
Turns out we do need oxygen to live. I feel special because I pointed out the obvious.

Seriously though. Elaborate on what you where right about because I'm confused (which isnt unusual.)
last edited on July 14, 2011 3:21PM
TheFlyingGreenMonkey at 10:14PM, March 24, 2011
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Ochitsukanai
I used abilities to confirm Hark, Ayes, TJ, and Anthony.
I solved clues for Crocty, Seventy2, BFF, and Gullas.

This is in case you got killed or lynched out of nowhere and were wondering why.

After ensuring his death, I vowed to Crocty that even if I survived, I would request to commit suicide with his grenade. Thus I faithfully avenged him, though I orchestrated his demise. This is the heart and soul of responsible rivalry.
No!But I saved you!

last edited on July 14, 2011 4:19PM
Product Placement at 2:58AM, March 25, 2011
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same
Seriously though. Elaborate on what you where right about because I'm confused (which isnt unusual.)
He was pointing out that he said that seventy2 was evil and that we should vote for him, when no less then 3 mafia members voted him out of the game.

As did I tell you guys that lynch was suspicious.
Those were my two cents.
If you have any other questions, please deposit a quarter.
This space for rent.
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:53PM

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