PoorBoyBlues

Mettaur
Well, no one complained about it when Hark was around, and no one was glad that he stopped, so I assumed it was a routine part of the Mafia Games.

Leave it to Hark

I agree.

Thank god, I didn't think I would be able to keep it up as long as him. I guess I'll stop the advertising then, and move back to loads of sneakily placed jokes. Uh, my eyes, I am so tired…..I'm going to get a Nuka-Cola. (Opens fridge) Well, cheers. (Drink Drink) Wow! Energizing! Amazing! Delicious! And totally healthy! (Fast voice thingy) warning, may cause cancer. (back to Mettaur) Nuka-Cola, the official soft-drink of America! Alright, where's my money? Aw yeah, that's right! Look at all those caps! I'll just take those and- what? You honestly don't want me to drink more of this stuff, do you? Oh, you just want me to blab more? Alright, gimme the lines then!
*reads and re-reads paper* Alright, not that bad, I think. *throat cleary noises* and now, coming to a store near you, Nuka-Cola Quantum! This one glows in the dark!

Alright, now that the Drink people are gone, let me warn you. Do NOT drink this stuff, it's horrible. Just plain nasty. Stick to Coca-Cola, if you want a better drink.

I Am The 1337 Master
48 pages

It was a good game. I recommend going through it if you ever find the time. It's well worth the laugh.

Narration

listen to this as you read.


Seventy2 was mad. He hadn't had any decent baked goods since Rokulily was shipped off and that made him pissed off. He loaded up with weapons from Salsa's weapons cabinet. (how it not been looted by the other town's people was beyond him) He was one of two townies and he was positive the mayor was mafia or a traitor, most likely a traitor. He was armed and ready to rock ‘n’ roll. Not the golden oldies style, though it was good, nor the crap Brittany Spears called Rock ‘n’ Roll. No, this was headbang-'til-your-brain-exploded, rock-your-face-off Rock ‘n’ Roll. He walked like a bad ass from hell out into the streets. There would be blood, and deafness.

Musty Bill walked out into the streets. He had planned on ending the last person who suspected him tonight. He head roaring guitars and crashing drums. I guess being on my list wasn't enough for him, he thought. He walked out into the night, gun drawn and pockets empty. Musty Bill had murder on the mind.

Midnight Tolled from the tower, and the two men met in the center of the town. Seventy2 opened fire first, nailing Musty bill in the arm. Musty Bill switched hands and fired at Seventy2, hitting him in the stomach. They fired again and again, hitting each other in arms and legs. Bullets spent they went to pounding each other into bloody pulps. Musty Bill didn't have a .38 in his gut, however, and managed to rip Seventy2's arm off. Seventy2 kept fighting though. Until Musty Bill impaled Seventy2 with the broken bone of his upper arm.



Seventy2 the Townie is dead



And then there were two.


Night seven is gone
Day eight is coming


(up early because I got a meeting at 2:30pm server time)

Hey, the narration is early! That's a pleasant surprise, cuz I was early from school today, I don't have to wait lots now. Man, down to two. Who will win?

Hmmm… down to two and only Mett volunteared as the new GM.
Doom is upon us.

lol

Just A reminder. The GM election Thread is UP! Mettaur is currently the onlyy GM candidate. C'mon Show me what you got!

Hey, I plan on doing a good job! I'll put good stuff in the writing for when good players die (good at the game, not just nice ones), the intro (which is what I wrote, that's why it's so long), and the final ending battle. I'll be open to requests from players, and I'll have fun with it!

What?! I'M DEAD?!

nice.

Okay this is how I was going to do it. I was going to call my final double lynch and we'd lynch both of us but after discussing it with a few players I was talked into just winning. Poorboy was one of the majority who told me I should just win. Be the first Mayor to be the only one alive.

So now I can say I might be the worst mayor ever! But I'm improving! In my first game as mayor everyone died. The secound time there was one survivor! :D

I care about the people, why wasn't I elected Mayor?

someone tell random that the new GM thread is up. He said he wanted to try for it.

I'm busy so I'll probably take a break from the game no matter who wins.

-the dead 1337 master

Quiting Mafia for a while because i couldnt be bothered with the next one. Too much time.

TheFlyingGreenMonkey
Okay this is how I was going to do it. I was going to call my final double lynch and we'd lynch both of us but after discussing it with a few players I was talked into just winning. Poorboy was one of the majority who told me I should just win. Be the first Mayor to be the only one alive.

So now I can say I might be the worst mayor ever! But I'm improving! In my first game as mayor everyone died. The secound time there was one survivor! :D

Well since I would of died days ago if it wasn't for you I figured I owned you one. Besides your attack all out strategy did well. If only Mettaur had read the rules and not acted so strange. That and if you hadn't insta'lynch hark. Curse you for taking away my mad bomber before he could show his madness.

Well anyways, Salsa I want an epic battle. Not like the one with seventy2. That was more gore than epic. I want EPIC.

THAT'S RIGHT. emperors finest.

i felt like i needed too.

What is your chapter? Let me know, they get half off on the bar.

Mettaur
What is your chapter? Let me know, they get half off on the bar.

I've been loud, obnoxious, violent, blood thirsty, and active at night. If I were anything BUT a Son of Russ, they'da shot me by now.

Well then, I guess they'd really need the drinks then. Man, party is good, party people are good, food good, entertainment…excellent! Man, you guys sure throw a hell of a party! Ha!

Use my dead body as a weapon!!!

-The STILL Dead 1337 Master

Hey 1337, you ended up here also? Whoa, how many Townies went down to here?

Indeed we do Mett, so long as you got Fenris Ale anyway…

I Am The 1337 Master
Use my dead body as a weapon!!!

I agree!

Mettaur
Hey 1337, you ended up here also? Whoa, how many Townies went down to here?

Been dead for a while. Didn't I have a whole I'm going to hell speech with ya? Or maybe that was with myself…yeah it was with myself.

THEY ALL DIE. (inside joke)

- The (ONCE AGAIN) STILL DEAD 1337 Master

So Ninja, how many of them dead townies and bandits are down here anyways?

Mettaur
So Ninja, how many of them dead townies and bandits are down here anyways?

one, two, three… ALL OF US DEAD!!! The whole bloody town's down here excluding our viking bound friend Roku, PoorBoyBill and the Tyrant-Mayor of the DAMNED!
Oh and, TFGM, if your reading this… I am actually in awe of you good sir. You actually did it. You killed the whole bloody town. Well done! I'm impressed! I award you with a treasured “Gary Busy award for Dangerous Insanity/ Awesomeness”!

Previous winners include myself, Old Man Higgins, Teddy Rosevelt, and Gary Coleman

So, I'm the only one that made it to the clouds?

Narration

TFGM and PBB were helpless as the great and mighty Salsa towered over them in his majestic GM-y might. The fools could only pray as he ready to end their miserable existence.



Salsa the GM has Ended the game!


more to come. sorry for the lateness.

Narration

TFGM woke in a cold sweat. He looked around, everything was as it should be. He got ready and headed to the Saloon for a little TLC. He was shocked and appalled that the saloon owner had no showgirls to give him, since the last one had been run off by PBB.


TFGM the showgirl-less Mayor is not happy

The Final Epic Narration of Epic Epic-ness

It was just the two of them now. PoorBoyBlues and TheFlyingGreenMonkey, all that was left of the once booming town of Townston. PoorBoyBlues had chased off the last of the showgirls, and that was an offence that TheFlyingGreenMonkey could not forgive. At noon, PoorBoyBlues was going to die, in the most epic way possible.

PoorBoyBlues was hungover from his encounter with the showgirl last night. He swore up and down that he would never accept a drink from a pretty girl, especially if the name included the words “dead”, “Liver-buster”, “Fire”, or “Pangalactic Gargle Blaster”. He walked to the kitchen of the house he had taken up residence in. He pulled out a skillet and a blender, and began making the Armageddon Hangover Cure. Three strips of bacon, seven eggs, three fired, four raw, gunpowder, a raw chicken gizzard, axle grease, spoiled milk, a shot of soured lemon juice, and a habenaro pepper, all blended together. After making the vile concoction, he braced himself and downed it in three large gulps. Why he still had a drinking problem is anybody's guess. He grabbed his hat and headed to the town square.

TFGM was there waiting. “I've been waiting for you. You have done the unforgivable.”

“Is this about last night? Because after Sammy's Rio Grande Liver-Buster, everything's kinda fuzzy.” replied PBB

“YOU RAN OUT THE LAST GIRL IN TOWN!! WHO AM I GONNA DATE NOW?!?” screamed TFGM.

“Oh, that would explain the restraining order.”

TFGM stared PBB down. The seconds ticked by and the wind swept dust and tumbleweeds down the street.

The clock tower tolled noon.

Both of the men pulled out their weapons, but PBB was just a little faster. He fired aiming between TFGM's eyes. TFGM only had a split second to register what was going he twisted out of the path of the oncoming .38 caliber cylinder of death. The bullet screamed by his ear. PBB was readying another shot, but TFGM had his gun up and aimed at PBB's chest. PBB moved to the side just as TFGM pulled the trigger. He felt a tug as the bullet tore through his jacket. He drew a bead on TFGM as the other ran for cover. He fired aiming for the middle of the Mayor's back. TFGM twisted around at the last second, diving under the bullet while bringing his gun to bear. He fired twice, trying to make two new orifices in PBB's chest. PBB didn't have time to dodge, He fired twice, hoping for a miracle.


PBB deflected the bullets.




Both men dived behind cover, breathing hard. PBB stuck his head out from behind a crate. TFGM did the same from behind the barrel he had decided to use as cover. They both ran out and fired, PBB twice, TFGM thrice. Five bullets landed in meaty targets.


Bessie and Daisy, the town's finest milking cows are dead




Bullets spent, the two men looked at each other.

“Ya know,” said PBB, “with Hark dead and no one ever attacking Old Man Higgins, there were plenty of unused and unattended explosives for the taking. Enough to blow everything sky-high.” And he clicked a button on the remote he had just pulled out of his pocket.

“I know,” said TFGM as he smiled, “Why do you think I rewired everything to respond to this remote.” TFGM pulled out another remote and clicked its single button.

Every single building, except the bakery, and every single street blew up in one thunderous explosion that they saw in Jolly ol' England.


the town of Townston is no more.




TFGM and PBB emerged from the rubble at the same time. The kid gloves were off now. Four shotguns were raised by two men and 32 shells were ready to be flung at them. PBB fired as TFGM ducked and returned the favor. PBB sidestepped and charged toward the Mayor of Townston. TFGM Spun his body around as PBB fired at point blank range. TFGM fired back, but PBB swept the barrel off target right as he pulled the trigger. PBB and TFGM stood up and faced each other.

“Your shotgun-fu is strong young one,” TFGM said, his words not matching his lips.

“As is yours, But I am stronger!” PBB replied, his lips not matching his words either.

“We shall see grasshopper.”

TFGM whipped both shotguns up and fired at PBB. PBB dived down and aimed at TFGM knees. TFGM jumped above the double blast and swung a shotgun down to fire at PBB's head. PBB barely moved in time as the blast caught his hat and ripped it to shreds. PBB fired at TFGM catching his jacket and ripping it to pieces.

“You have insulted my hat,” stated PBB plainly, “Honor demands death!”

“You have much to learn young one.”

TFGM cast off his hat and his ruined jacket. He shifted his stance and brought his guns to bear.

“Prepare yourself, for no man had survived my mayorhood yet.”

“Until now!”

Both of them danced the deadly dance of shotguns and kicks, Fire was exchanged and clothing was damaged. The combatants suddenly stopped, their muscled chest gleaming in the early afternoon sun. PBB brought both of his shotguns to bear and aimed at TFGM head. He pulled the triggers and…


nothing happened






PBB's eyes went wide with shock. TFGM aimed at his right leg and fired one shell into the man's leg. PBB went down clutching the wound as TFGM walked up to him.

“This is a 12-gauge shotgun with an eight round magazine. So the question is, was the my 15th or 16th shot. So you gotta ask, do you fell lucky punk, well do ya?”

PBB pulled out his knife and lunged at TFGM. TFGM pulled the trigger.



























PoorBoyBlues aka Musty Bill is dead.



About an hour later in Iceland PP, Gullas, and Rokulily received the following telegram:

Remodelings done, ya'll can come back now.

Mafia XXIV is over. thanks for playing.