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The Pizza/Taco war.
riku valentine at 7:17PM, Sept. 12, 2007
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I'll rate it.

+10 for killing a general.

0 for not having any men.

+10 for own seperate story.

+10 for bringing in someone tottally unrelated

Total: 30
Blood, the dark hedgehog with the demon inside him.
Join the resistance.
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No suicidal people please, they won't restore your faith in life
last edited on July 14, 2011 3:08PM
vgman at 7:25PM, Sept. 12, 2007
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riku valentine
I'll rate it.

+10 for killing a general.

0 for not having any men.

+10 for own seperate story.

+10 for bringing in someone tottally unrelated

Total: 30

Thats nice and all but in the end this is rage's thread. What you rate won't stand in the score book.
RIP TD :cry2:
last edited on July 14, 2011 4:41PM
Lord Shplane at 7:25PM, Sept. 12, 2007
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As the President of the Taconian Republic, I decide that it is time for us to utilize our nuclear capabilities. After years of pain and suffering, torture, hatred and death, the entire Pizzonus Empire is brought to it's knees in one decisive strike.

Unfortunately, the United Foodstuffs condemns my actions, and I am brought on trial as a war criminal. However, I manage to escape to a hidden bunker somewhere deep withing the jungles of the Buffetan continent. I never resurface, and the Taconian Republic elects a new President. It is assumed by most of the world that I died of old age, my shell becoming stale, my cheese and meat rotting, and my lettuce wilting. It is impossible to really know my fate, as my body was never found.
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:41PM
Rage Nakasa at 7:27PM, Sept. 12, 2007
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vgman
riku valentine
I'll rate it.

+10 for killing a general.

0 for not having any men.

+10 for own seperate story.

+10 for bringing in someone tottally unrelated

Total: 30

Thats nice and all but in the end this is rage's thread. What you rate won't stand in the score book.

Zero is not someone tottally unrelated. This thread came from the Pizza/Taco guys. I don't mind you guys rating my storys.
I decree Boot to the head to all.

last edited on July 14, 2011 2:59PM
Rage Nakasa at 7:36PM, Sept. 12, 2007
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Lord Shplane:
Nice to see you here.

10 points for awsome title's(see I spelled it right)

0 points for having any men…

0 points cause you didn't follow my rules on an inbattle thing. VGman had a battle in his. Your is more polictal… I'll give you 5 points for bring that up.

Total points: 15
I decree Boot to the head to all.

last edited on July 14, 2011 2:59PM
Lord Shplane at 7:39PM, Sept. 12, 2007
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Rage Nakasa
Lord Shplane:
Nice to see you here.

10 points for awsome title's(see I spelled it right)

0 points for having any men…

0 points cause you didn't follow my rules on an inbattle thing. VGman had a battle in his. Your is more polictal… I'll give you 5 points for bring that up.

Total points: 15

I was really just joking more than anything. I half expected you to just say “Lol, 0 points kthxbi.” lol!
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:41PM
Rage Nakasa at 7:43PM, Sept. 12, 2007
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It's a story. It works. you got points.
I decree Boot to the head to all.

last edited on July 14, 2011 2:59PM
vgman at 7:46PM, Sept. 12, 2007
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Well that was fun (even if I didn't raise points for selling the vid on eBay :( )and I got nothing better to do so….

After the victory we descend on the fallen troops and take what rations we can find. As previously stated they had no ammunition so we couldnt salvage anything more than food we found papers on the taco generals body stating where a nearby weapons cash is. I knew it would be heavily guarded but without any ammunition we would surly have our legs cut off before we even stand up in this war. We come up on the weapons cash and sure enough there are two taco troopers standing guard outside it. I had our mechanics specialist create a makeshift grenade out of most of our remaining ammo. I look at him and say “give it here” he looks at me uneasily and says “well ok but its not what you expect” I give him a strange look and say “what the hell do you mean its not what-” I break off in mid-sentence as he passes me the grenade. I look around at my men, some of them have stupid grins on there faces. I whisper loudly, “Who the hell painted it like and egg!!!!“ the mechanical specialist tries not to look me in the eyes when he says ”Jenkins did it“ I look at Jenkins and say “if this dosent work and we die, the devil won't be able to do shit to you after im done.” I pull the pin and throw the painted grenade over to the to taco troopers standing guard. One of them sees it land and picks up the odd egg. “hey Joe what do you make of this?” the second taco trooper comes over and looks at the weird egg. “What the hell? Someone is throwing eggs at u-” he breaks off as the egg erupts and frozen cheese erupts from the grenade piercing there bodies in countless locations like little daggers. They fall to the ground as we come out of hiding and drag there bodies inside to the weapons cash. We stuff the two of them in the corner and take all the ammunition we can carry. While browsing through a list of weapons I find a piece of intelligence that states that a few taco renegades are planning to join the pizza forces and that the tacos are planning to ambush them. I tell ever one to pack up and head out.


On a side not completely unrelated to a story
If a new FPS game comes out that has food based warriors im really going to go shoot someone.
RIP TD :cry2:
last edited on July 14, 2011 4:41PM
Rage Nakasa at 7:58PM, Sept. 12, 2007
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Vgman:
Funny!

10 points for no lost men.

10 1/2 points for painting a make-shift gernade like an egg.

5 bouns points for getting info.

2 points for the ebay thing. You got $50 then it showed up on youtube.

Total points 55
I decree Boot to the head to all.

last edited on July 14, 2011 2:59PM
vgman at 8:00PM, Sept. 12, 2007
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Rage Nakasa
2 points for the ebay thing. You got $50 then it showed up on youtube.

Damn 50$ big ones… now what to spend it on….
RIP TD :cry2:
last edited on July 14, 2011 4:41PM
Rage Nakasa at 8:55PM, Sept. 12, 2007
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I'm going to make a comic on this war!
I decree Boot to the head to all.

last edited on July 14, 2011 2:59PM
imshard at 9:00PM, Sept. 12, 2007
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This is going to be risky I thought to myself. The thickly wooded area was deadly quiet. My 25 Men-at-arms stood ready in their positions. Then we heard it. The shelling had started. The sound of Pepperoni artillery rounds screaming through the air and impacting the ground came from far away. The roar of rocket engines answered as the Tacos retaliated with Burrito Scuds. The Taco city of Chipolte was under siege. We had come behind enemy lines, far behind them in fact. Our history and success as guerrilla commandos on the frontier had gotten us picked for this mission. The sounds of battle continued sounding strangely distorted with the distance. Our ears were focused on another new sound though. Supply trucks. The Scud defenses couldn't hold us back long if they were not resupplied.
Thus we lay on either side of the road waiting for the enemy to come with fresh fuel and components for the Scud factories in the city. The timing was perfect. The first truck thundered past my position. A moment later it exploded as it was crunched between the pincers of a swinging tree trap. It couldn't have been rehearsed better. The trucks behind it crashed into a pile up. The road was officially blocked, it would be hours before anybody could clear it. The still growing wreck still blew up periodically as fuel tankers were pierced or heated dangerously by the open flames of wrecks. This blew flaming debris back onto the convoy. Tree traps continued sweeping up Tacodieros, and crushing vehicles. The rest of the trucks had finally stopped. The escorting “crispy shell” APCs stopped as well and opened their hatches to let out troops. They may as well have painted a target. The PizzaTeer gunners knew what to do. The Disc launchers pumped blades into the unshielded interiors. They blew beautifully. The snipers started picking of the drivers fleeing their vehicles and the troops trying to jump out of their motorized transports.
Then the roar of rockets was heard. The scuds landed everywhere. Lacking coordinates the city defenses had responded to the radioed support request by deciding to shell the general area. I ordered a retreat. Pizzateer and tacodieros alike are engulfed in the blasts. Hours later I look over the survivors of my command. 9 men remained of my original 25. We had 68 confirmed kills, some of the Tacodieros had escaped though. That was to be expected, this was supposed to be a suicide mission after all. Yet the Enemy's main supply road was now destroyed as well as blocked. An outstanding success I tried to tell myself. It was a wonder that we had survived at all. That didn't comfort me at all as I looked at Jenson's spattered remains on my uniform. We heard the sound of retreating Taco troops evacuating through the woods. We evaded them and made our way back to friendly lines. Upon emerging from the treeline we saw Pizzamen entering the city unchallenged. We reported to command and were given the rest of the week off for leave. What a treat.
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last edited on July 14, 2011 12:57PM
ShinGen at 2:45AM, Sept. 13, 2007
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With two bases, one half destroyed all-be-it, and the intel we needed all under our belts we decided it was time to move out.

Jens and I would each lead a separate platoon into the belly of the beast. This wasn't because I thought he was the best man for it. He had volunteered. The kid grew a lot of beans since his last mission, I'll give him that. Lettuce and Tomato were with me. They were the two guys that had made a wonderful little distraction before hand. I always thought they had a thing for each other but don't ask don't tell right?

Before we left we stoked up on ammo and weaponry at the supply depot. We left the SCUD behind this time around though. Quarters were too close. If we used it we risked taking out some of our own men. Not this time.

We left five of the twenty-five men to guard the two bases. For the most part they were there to radio us if any thing went wrong and then get the hell outta there.

Just as we headed out my com cut on and the Commadant's face appeared. “Yes Commadant Shell?” I ask into it as the response was broken. “St… do… base is… infor…” I couldn't make sense of it. The closest I got was “Stop” and “Base is”. What was the base? I had to find out so we continued on.

As we searched through the jungle for the Pizza Nazi's secret lair we knew it would be a difficult mission. The lair was hidden and was where they analyzed data and research. If we were to win this war we would need that information. We crept slowly through the brush with Jens' platoon working their way around the right coordinates. Suddenly we spotted a small swell of Pizza's. Four to be exact. I motioned for Tom and Let to take the fold and with my one swift motion the two of them launched an all out assault of the four unsuspecting Pizza Boi's. To keep it quiet they beat them to death with their own pepperoni blasters and then took them for back up ammo. They nodded and the rest of the platoon followed. As we approached the front entrance We noticed all of the guards had already been taken out. We were monetarily puzzled as we soon found out the reason. Jens was standing at the entrance with his platoon resting behind.

Jens: “Found a short cut.”
Me: “And you don't wait for backup?”
Jens: “Figured we had it.”

This pissed me off a little bit but I couldn't deny his lust for the battle. Too close to my own heart. As I spoke all members of both platoons stood at attention.

“Okay we'll rush in from here as one unit, Jens here will take over as company guide and…” I began as Tom interrupted me. “Excuse me sir…” I looked to his a bit angry with disgust. “Yes Private? Is there something so important that your superior officer had to be interrupted?” I asked as he replied, “Aye Aye sir.” I liked his honesty. “Sir if we split back into two platoons and attack from both sides we can catch ‘em off guard. The pepperoni faces will never know what creamed ’em.” He said as I considered his proposal and nodded.

Me: “Fine we go with Tom's plan. We launch the full assault in ten so make sure you're prepped. And say your last words… this one could get saucy.”

Welcome to the academy of the 1337. Try not to get fragged.
last edited on July 14, 2011 3:33PM
Rage Nakasa at 8:24AM, Sept. 13, 2007
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Imshard:
That was awsome!!!

10 points for doing suicide mission.

4 points cause you lost 16 men.

10 points for killing 68 Tacodieros

Total points 89.
—————————————————————————————
Shingen:

10 points fot supence. love it.

10 points for no lost men.

5 points for tom's plan.

Total points: 85

—————————————————————————————

Now it's time to change the mission.

Your mission: To sneak into an emeny base and get info.

Pizza Base: Hevally aromred but has fewer men on petrool.

Taco base: Lightlly aromred but has more men pretrooling it.

killing is not allowed in this one, killing might get your ass capcher.

(Note: These are people… not food things…but if thats who you see them, Thats fine by me)

Good luck!
I decree Boot to the head to all.

last edited on July 14, 2011 2:59PM
ShinGen at 8:44AM, Sept. 13, 2007
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Hold, up you mean no killing at all?

So no one can die?

Also can I use the base they're at right now as the enemy base for this?

Welcome to the academy of the 1337. Try not to get fragged.
last edited on July 14, 2011 3:33PM
Rage Nakasa at 9:03AM, Sept. 13, 2007
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Yes… you got a order for on of you to seake in to get Info. If you want and I won't count it aginded you. You can kill the after your mission is done.
I decree Boot to the head to all.

last edited on July 14, 2011 2:59PM
Rage Nakasa at 9:17AM, Sept. 13, 2007
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http://www.drunkduck.com/The_Taco_Pizza_wars/ is up now!
I decree Boot to the head to all.

last edited on July 14, 2011 2:59PM
riku valentine at 2:00PM, Sept. 13, 2007
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I'm sneaking around the base, scoping everything out, when suddenly one guy spots me. He's too stupid to call for back-up, so I knock him out and hide the body, MGS style. I enter the base and go to the first room i see. along the way, there is a guy looking the other way. I knock him out too, and drag him to the shadows. the room is obviously an intelligence room. How obvious, you ask? It says intelligence room in big bold letters, crossed out, but not well enough. The words “intelligence room” were replaced by the words “Boiler Room”. I open the door, knock out the guy inside, grab all the intelligence I can hold (which is all of it, I was smart enough to bring a large duffle bag) and sneak out of the base without a hitch.
Blood, the dark hedgehog with the demon inside him.
Join the resistance.
Join Mephiles.
Join (Roleplay) War of the Future!

http://www.drunkduck.com/the_hedgehogs/
http://www.drunkduck.com/Shadow_and_Blaze/

No suicidal people please, they won't restore your faith in life
last edited on July 14, 2011 3:08PM
imshard at 2:29PM, Sept. 13, 2007
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Bravo company was no more. High command had taken notice of them and made other plans for the 9 survivors of the fated Bravo unit. The Heroes of the Chipolte Siege had not died martyrs like they were supposed to. They had been reorganized into an independent ARC squad. Ever since they had had a perfect service record of not dying while performing insanely dangerous missions. And now this, another ridiculous mission. The PizzaGeras were being sent to capture Intel from a base. No backup, heavy equipment, or death allowed. In and out silently the briefing had said. Great.

The commandos were on the ridge above the base. It was lightly armored, little more than a fence and a solitary guard tower. In truth it was just a permanent roadblock and resupply depot. The buildings consisted of a garage, a small warehouse, a fueling station, and the barracks. That was were the problem lay. The barracks housed extra guests right now. A visiting general and his escorts. They were carrying something valuable. As they observed the PizzaGeras noticed one of the supply trucks was sequestered under a shelter and featured guards where none of the others did.
Interesting. Whatever was going on the upper echelons wanted to know what it was.
That night they moved. The visitors had only just arrived earlier that day and were departing tomorrow as soon the Taco mechanics finished maintenance on the vehicles.
The spotlight passed over the spot in the fence. Two men dashed up to it and sliced the chain link apart along a post. They peeled it back and the others silently whisked past. The two then stapled the fence back into place and melted back into the forest.
When the traveling spotlight passed over the spot again nothing was amiss to give away what has just happened there. The wraith-like Pizza soldiers melted through the darkness. The Tacodiero guard shifted his weapon uncomfortably at his post. He stood in front of the barracks doors that lead to the officers quarters. He didn't the shadow slipping through the window behind him. Near the front gate a farm truck rolled up suddenly. An angry looking yokel spilled out yammering in the local back-hill language. The Taco patrolmen and guards gathered around curiously. The bored motor pool guards didn't leave their posts but watched uneasily. The farmer stormed around the truck to the passenger side and had a clearly pregnant girl get out. An uneasy chuckle emerged form some of the men. the two peasant folk yammered at each other for a moment before the girl pointed to one of the leering soldiers. The poor man's face paled, as the old man approached him and yammered a little quicker and louder at him through the closed gate. The other Tacodieros laughed at their comrade's plight in earnest now. The burly would-be father protested in vain that he had never seen the girl before.
The Taco guards around the truck eased their grip on their grenade launchers, and laughed lightly. Despite the bright lighting of the area they didn't see the masked men bolt from the shadows and leap into the truck they were supposed to be guarding.
Eventually the guards ceased to be amused by the old farmer's incomprehensible ranting. They returned to their posts and ordered the man to go away at gunpoint.
The next morning the visiting convoy left without incident. There was some small commotion as the base commander disciplined one of the night guards about being too friendly with the locals but the general did not care about that. At least he had gotten to sleep on a real bed last night he mused to himself as they departed. Several miles down the road nobody noticed when two black shapes detached themselves from the main trucks undercarriage and rolled easily into the woods. The cargo in their hands.
A farm truck with a man and woman came along some time later and picked them up. A pillow and masks were in the back.

Two days later the Pizza scientists had concluded that the captured cargo was the Taco's dastardly new prototype meat seasoning. At the same time the Taco general had to explain how both it and the papers in his briefcase that included a codebook had disappeared.
Don't be a stick in the mud traditionalist! Support global warming!

Tech Support: The Comic!! Updates Somedays!!
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:57PM
Rage Nakasa at 4:03PM, Sept. 13, 2007
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Riku:
Nice!

7 points for stealth.

10 points for clean up.

4 bonus points for the funny word change.

21 points total
I decree Boot to the head to all.

last edited on July 14, 2011 2:59PM
Rage Nakasa at 4:22PM, Sept. 13, 2007
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Imshard.
Great planing!!!

10 points for Stealth.

10 points for invoing the farm people.

10 bouns points imbresing there commander.

30 points. Woooo!
I decree Boot to the head to all.

last edited on July 14, 2011 2:59PM
imshard at 4:24PM, Sept. 13, 2007
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Rage Nakasa
Imshard.
Great planing!!!

10 points for Stealth.

10 points for invoing the farm people.

10 bouns points imbresing there commander.

30 points. Woooo!

Soooo… We restarted the totals?
Don't be a stick in the mud traditionalist! Support global warming!

Tech Support: The Comic!! Updates Somedays!!
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:57PM
Rage Nakasa at 4:26PM, Sept. 13, 2007
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yea. New mission meens new points. Imshard won the last one.
I decree Boot to the head to all.

last edited on July 14, 2011 2:59PM
imshard at 4:27PM, Sept. 13, 2007
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Sweet!
Don't be a stick in the mud traditionalist! Support global warming!

Tech Support: The Comic!! Updates Somedays!!
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:57PM
vgman at 4:29PM, Sept. 13, 2007
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We werent given a mission so I think I'll just continue my story.


We set out from the supply cash to the place where the taco troops plan to ambush the taco defects. We get a few blocks and the streets turn from dirt to pavement and the air seemed to get dryer. We where about a few blocks away when I directed my troop into a near by building to rest a bit. I find a map of the city in a cabinet inside. I put it on the table, and look at the area where the taco defects are supposed to meet a squad from the pizza squad. I notice that there is only one way in and out. I thought that it was an odd place to meet. Suddenly I here marching and I order the men to hide inside the building and be ready just in case. I peak out hole in the wall to see a taco troop march by. We wait for a little while and are about to leave when a pizza squad heads past the house. Finally the marching fades and we wait, then more marching. The taco troopers walk past. “Thats every one accounted for” I whisper to myself, I order Jenkins to peak out and see if they where gone. He slowly gets up and looks out the window. He ducks down fast and whispers, “another pizza squad.” I think for a minute then mutter “those pizza bastards.” Jenkins looks puzzled and ask what im talking about, I look at him and say “ they are using there own troops to lure a taco squad into a trap.” As the pizza squad finally marches past we hold our breath. Finally they turn the corner and move out of sight. I motion for my men to move out and we exit the building. We walk down the road and peak around the corner. Very far down the street I barely make out a squa1d of taco troopers and pizza units. I look around a bit and see figures moving around on building tops and inside houses. Suddenly cracks and pops start coming from down the road. A taco squad runs out of the houses and starts firing on the circle in the street. They quickly retaliate and most of the troops fall. Only five taco troopers remain standing, they start walking back up the road when explosions start going off. Pizza soldiers on the roof start lobbing grenades down onto the taco troopers. Unable to do any thing they fall within seconds. They started marching up the street and I decide its time to get my men into position. I look around for the best vantage points, I see a gutter on every corner in the street I look at Jenkins and tell him to take 8 units including him self and put 2 at each of the gutters. I direct 8 units into the house on the corner that we are looking from and 8 into another house accost the street. I go into the corner house and get up on the roof and into position to signal Jenkins. The pizza troops enter the corner and are about to turn when I raise my hand and signal for the troops in the gutters to attack. A second passes and suddenly the gutters light up with the sound of gun fire and a volley of bullets fly out to the crowd of pizza troops. 10 of them fall while the rest scramble into cover. I signal for the house across the street to open fire and 5 more units fall. I pull a sting signaling the units in the house below me to attack. 4 more fall. Just one more. I see him behind a rock fumbling with something. I line up a shot when he suddenly gets up and pulls his hand back. I see the small explosive in his hand. I shoot and he falls. But im to late. The death bomb flies into the sewer, a few seconds past then the earth shook and the street collapsed. We loose 7 good men… and Jenkins.


Edit: also on a side note I would like to point out that if imshard had the same ammount of posts as me I would have won
>.>
<.<
RIP TD :cry2:
last edited on July 14, 2011 4:41PM
imshard at 4:36PM, Sept. 13, 2007
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vgman
Edit: also on a side note I would like to point out that if imshard had the same ammount of posts as me I would have won
>.>
<.<

Um I love your story?
Nothing is stopping you from posting more often.
Don't be a stick in the mud traditionalist! Support global warming!

Tech Support: The Comic!! Updates Somedays!!
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:57PM
vgman at 4:39PM, Sept. 13, 2007
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Oh I'm not trying to be mean, I'm just saying at the same number of posts I would win.
Nothing personal, I'm just hyper competitive that way imshard.

Edit: and yes work keeps me from posting enugh.
RIP TD :cry2:
last edited on July 14, 2011 4:41PM
imshard at 4:41PM, Sept. 13, 2007
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vgman
Oh I'm not trying to be mean, I'm just saying at the same number of posts I would win.
Nothing personal, I'm just hyper competitive that way imshard.

Edit: and yes work keeps me from posting enugh.

Good to hear, I enjoy reading your posts. I wouldn't be ashamed to lose to you.
But it's not gonna happen. lol 8D

edit: work interrupts me too. I may have to forfeit this round as well.
I'll be outa town for a few days on business, and may not get to post.
Don't be a stick in the mud traditionalist! Support global warming!

Tech Support: The Comic!! Updates Somedays!!
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:57PM
Rage Nakasa at 4:46PM, Sept. 13, 2007
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Vgman:
sweet.

6 points for losing 8 men.

10 points for contiuing your story.

5 bouns points for realing you have no commander above you.

21 points total.
I decree Boot to the head to all.

last edited on July 14, 2011 2:59PM
vgman at 4:51PM, Sept. 13, 2007
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Rage Nakasa
Vgman:
sweet.

6 points for losing 8 men.

10 points for contiuing your story.

5 bouns points for realing you have no commander above you.

21 points total.

um you mean revealing?
That should have been obvios from my first post…

Also post 60!!
RIP TD :cry2:
last edited on July 14, 2011 4:41PM

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