General Discussion

What will you do with your fruitcake?
kennatsu at 1:42PM, Nov. 27, 2007
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It's near that time of year again. Y'know… the presents, the fat guy in the red suit, those sexy female elves, and…

the Fruitcake! AUGH!!!

Every year my uncle sends me fruitcake for Christmas. And I'm left trying to figure out what to do with it. I find the thing very hard to eat. Not that it's bad… well, okay. So I just don't like fruitcake.

I plan on bringing my fruitcake to work when I get it so I can use it to deal with drunkards. How about you?
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:14PM
amanda at 1:52PM, Nov. 27, 2007
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My grandma used to send a fruitcake every year. It was really yummy, but that's probably an exception to the rule.

Um…you can use it as a bludgeoning device! Or leave it on the counter, and my roommate's boyfriend will eat it (since he's like a vacuum cleaner).
last edited on July 14, 2011 10:50AM
kennatsu at 1:54PM, Nov. 27, 2007
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amanda
Um…you can use it as a bludgeoning device!

Well, that's my plan. Unfortunately one of the things I do on the job is to deal with wayward and violently aggressive drunkards who show up during the holidays. And since fruitcake isn't classified as a weapon… hehehe…
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:14PM
crazyninny at 1:55PM, Nov. 27, 2007
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I've never had, nor gotten a Fruitcake, but if I did…



I don't know what I would do with it…
last edited on July 14, 2011 11:48AM
Aurora Moon at 2:36PM, Nov. 27, 2007
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crazyninny
I've never had, nor gotten a Fruitcake, but if I did…



I don't know what I would do with it…

ditto. you could use it as a paperweight? or just plain throw it out without telling your relative.
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last edited on July 14, 2011 11:10AM
SarahN at 2:46PM, Nov. 27, 2007
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Oh, the usual. Set it on fire and do a tribal dance around it.
last edited on July 14, 2011 3:23PM
Puff_Of_Smoke at 2:47PM, Nov. 27, 2007
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Cover it in oil and light it. HAPPY NEW YEARS!

lol I actually did that last year…
I
I have a gun. It's really powerful. Especially against living things.
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:55PM
Coveinant at 3:35PM, Nov. 27, 2007
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If I ever get a fruitcake I'll do the following.

1. model it for a sprite to be used in my comic
2. smash it with a hammer
3. do what Puff said
4. vaccum remains
5. take remains and mix with concrete and make a block
6. take block and blow it to peices
7. repeat step 4
8. dump remains into Missouri River
Enter my contests and be happy about your ideas.

go here, I may have left you something good
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last edited on July 14, 2011 11:47AM
deletedbyrequest03 at 3:40PM, Nov. 27, 2007
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A fruitcake? I don't know… I guess I'd share it with my family. I don't think I've ever eaten a fruitcake before.

If I don't like it, I could give it to my cats. They'll like it.

This year, school's full of BS!!!
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:05PM
kitty17 at 3:40PM, Nov. 27, 2007
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Bah…my grandmother makes Pan de Pasqua(teehee spanish)….and my parents love it. But it's bleh, so fruitcake if not eaten is forgotten…and chucked into the trash or wrapped and given to someone else.


I'd love to be able to set it on fire…though…

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last edited on July 14, 2011 1:18PM
TheMidge28 at 4:55PM, Nov. 27, 2007
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cut off a piece…zap it in the microwave shortly and eat with some warm plum sauce.
Yum.
last edited on July 14, 2011 4:22PM
crazyninny at 6:26PM, Nov. 27, 2007
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Aurora Moon
crazyninny
I've never had, nor gotten a Fruitcake, but if I did…



I don't know what I would do with it…

ditto. you could use it as a paperweight? or just plain throw it out without telling your relative.

Well, since there is fruit in it, we could say its some kind of acient jeweled tribal rock.
last edited on July 14, 2011 11:48AM
bbr at 2:37AM, Nov. 28, 2007
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Leave it in the open for about 6 months ot let it harden.
then use it as a weapon.
last edited on July 14, 2011 11:15AM
blu at 7:54AM, Nov. 28, 2007
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i bet the thirty or so chickens we've got running around our farm would looooove fruitcake.

but since i'm at my dorm room instead and i'm poor and can't afford much, i would probably end up eating it if it was edible :P
other than that, this comment is pointless.
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last edited on July 14, 2011 11:28AM
Custard Trout at 12:42PM, Nov. 28, 2007
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Usually I eat it. I accept whatever food I can hold of and I'd probably starve if I started getting fussy over small issues like edibility.
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last edited on July 14, 2011 11:59AM
SwinS at 3:48PM, Nov. 29, 2007
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Feed it to the cat.

Fruitcake is gross.
last edited on July 14, 2011 4:05PM
Puff_Of_Smoke at 4:39PM, Nov. 29, 2007
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SwinS
Fruitcake is gross.

I AGREE.

Totally.
I
I have a gun. It's really powerful. Especially against living things.
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:55PM
Evil_Snuffkin at 4:59PM, Nov. 29, 2007
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Last year's fruit cake got lost in the garage and when we found it a colony of ants had set up home inside. This year I'll try and avoid it at all costs.
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:24PM
kingofsnake at 7:50AM, Nov. 30, 2007
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eat it and turn it into poop
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:16PM
Randal at 7:21PM, Nov. 30, 2007
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I'd use it as a door stopper, or maybe a wheel chock.
last edited on July 14, 2011 3:01PM
Insanity at 5:14PM, Dec. 2, 2007
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I hit people with it.

AwesomeUnicorn
I feel a little bit like Hitler right now, too.
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:01PM
ozoneocean at 5:26PM, Dec. 2, 2007
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kingofsnake
eat it and turn it into poop
What do you mean "turn it into poop"?


I'm pretty sure it's mostly there already… I mean, it smells a lot better, but with all that dense, fibrous dried fruit I'm not sure how much digestion actually occurs…? :P
 
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:29PM
marine at 5:33PM, Dec. 2, 2007
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I will sell mine to buy this months Nickelodean Magazine. KC Green & HPK collaborated on something called the wizard brothers that made it into the comic. Congratulate them on making it into the magazine form of nick. I for one welcome out evil viacom overlords!
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:53PM
AQua_ng at 8:38AM, Dec. 3, 2007
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I'll use it for jailbait.

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last edited on July 14, 2011 10:58AM
giadrosich at 9:07AM, Dec. 3, 2007
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Actually, I think there is only one fruitcake in existence, which would explain its unusual texture and hardness. It just gets passed around every year to someone different…
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:35PM
Red Slayer at 12:07PM, Dec. 3, 2007
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Fuel for my giant robot.
last edited on July 14, 2011 3:03PM
shaneronzio at 12:19PM, Dec. 3, 2007
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wear it as a hat and sit in the woods and get close up pictures of the animals that come to eat it.







then, eat the animals.

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last edited on July 14, 2011 3:32PM
Rage Nakasa at 12:44PM, Dec. 3, 2007
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Lolwha? No I kid. But I don't get fruitcake so I'll do nothing to it.
I decree Boot to the head to all.

last edited on July 14, 2011 3:00PM
hukkahmaster at 1:28PM, Dec. 3, 2007
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Eat it with pieces of cheese. It's delicious. :)
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last edited on July 14, 2011 12:51PM
an_artist at 1:09AM, Dec. 4, 2007
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Marinate it in rum then eat it with cream.

Then wonder why you didn't just drink the rum and cream.
last edited on July 14, 2011 10:54AM

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