Everyone, and I mean everyone, has a list of rules they live by.

What are yours?

Feel free to list them here.

Keep language to a minimum though, please.

-regiz the painter

1. Enjoy whatever you do(If you don't enjoy it, it isn't worth doing).

2. Always try to find the common ground.

3. Be polite in an dissagreement.

4. Remember your toothbrush (just in case).

5. Read at least one chapter in the bible a day.

6. If someone needs help, give help.

7. Never forget what it was like to be a kid.

Actually that's an interesting question, I bet it's something most people haven't thought consciously about. That said, lemme think about it….


… for some reason this thread is reminding me vaguely of some… song or something. A guy kind of, says rules to live by? Hmm. It's about 10 years old maybe?

1. don't eat the yellow snow.
2. never trust an elf.
3. when in doubt, go left.
4. you must be this high to go on this ride.
5. always skip six.
7. honor your father.
8. don't open the package.
9. if it's been on the ground for shorter than two seconds, eat it.
10. ladies to the left, men to the right, and no peaking!

1. There are no rules.

1. Don't be a bitch (unless you have a good reason)
2. Hug an animal every day.
3. Kick ass at everything. If you can't, practice until you can.
4. Don't stress out. C:

Not sure about rules but well sort of.

Don't worry it's about as much use as a chocolate teapot, when worried (hey it is unavoidable) find a solution act accordingly and do not let panic set in.

Respect others if you want them to respect you.

be honest, with yourself and others.

get over it.

Always stand up for you and yours, but be clever about it.

and a bonus extra, never underestimate stupidity.

1). There's no such thing as fool-proof. Never underestimate the ingenuity of fools.
2). You do not talk about Fight Club.
3). You do not talk about Fight Club.
4). Rule #34: If it exists, there is porn of it; no exceptions.
5). Too much of anything can be toxic.
6). Cthulhu fhtaghn!
7). There are 126 things you can do with Absinthe. 125 of them are things you probably shouldn't do; and I'm speaking from experience here.
8). Humans share 25% of their genome with the common banana plant. Get over yourself.
9). John Carpenter's The Thing is the greatest horror movie ever.
10). The solution to all of life's problems can be found at the bottom of a beer bottle.

err on the side of generosity

1. Avoid taking life seriously as much as possible.
2. Try not to cause problems for anyone else.
3. Treat people as individuals, not as a part of whatever groups they may belong to.
4. Sleep at least one day a year away just for the fun of it.
5. Never let anyone put anything up my butt.

Yep, that's about it.

Treat others as you want them to treat you.

Only take seriously that nothing is to be taken seriously.

Just be in this moment for the past is history and the future a mystery but the present is a gift. (Not only a pun in English. Tao or Zen is full of puns because that's the meaning of language because life is funny. Let yourself in on the joke and laugh)

And stop thinking so much. By attaching so much meaning to so little you're only setting yourself up for emtpy philosophical meanderings that rob one of sleep and joy. After all one belly laugh is worth 10,000 syllogisms.

1. Be polite.
2. Be efficient.
3. Have a plan to kill everyone you meet.

shirkersama
5. Never let anyone put anything up my butt.

So I guess if you get colon cancer, you'll find out about it during stage four rather than stage one, I suppose. Here's hoping that never happens.

Randal

shirkersama
5. Never let anyone put anything up my butt.

So I guess if you get colon cancer, you'll find out about it during stage four rather than stage one

Yep, and I'm ok with that.

shirkersama

Randal

shirkersama
5. Never let anyone put anything up my butt.

So I guess if you get colon cancer, you'll find out about it during stage four rather than stage one

Yep, and I'm ok with that.

Properly supervised medical procedures such as Colonoscopies and prostate exams are worth a lot more than some flippant rule about not letting anyone put something up your butt.

Diverticulitis? If it'll get the pain to stop put your probe anywhere! Just make the pain stop!

I'm with shirkersama.

Me too.

ozoneocean
I'm with shirkersama.

Then I want living will and power of attorney for all of you. When you're dying because of the illnesses that could have been prevented by letting that scope up you butt, I get all your stuff.

Oh and you won't need pain medication either.

bravo1102
I get all your stuff.

You can have our anal probes.
We won't be needing them.

Enjoy! :)

ozoneocean

bravo1102
I get all your stuff.

You can have our anal probes.
We won't be needing them.

Enjoy! :)

Just wait until his back is turned, he'll never know what we stick where once he's under.

Bruhahahahahaha!

A… rapist? D:

bravo1102

ozoneocean

bravo1102
I get all your stuff.

You can have our anal probes.
We won't be needing them.

Enjoy! :)

Just wait until his back is turned, he'll never know what we stick where once he's under.

Bruhahahahahaha!

I nominate this as the creepiest post ever.

shirkersama

bravo1102

ozoneocean

bravo1102
I get all your stuff.

You can have our anal probes.
We won't be needing them.

Enjoy! :)

Just wait until his back is turned, he'll never know what we stick where once he's under.

Bruhahahahahaha!

I nominate this as the creepiest post ever.

Nah, just a movie camera to see if your intestines are okay and then a finger to make sure your prostate is in good shape. I never minded having things stuck up my butt as my head's been up there for years.

When you're lying in the hospital bed with waves of pain flying through your abdomen and the doctor tells you they have to stick it up there… then you can talk. Until then just thank your lucky stars you only have to hear about this second hand. ;) In goes the needle you lose count after 99 and then they show you the travelogue of your intestines when you wake up, but you know what? Your intestines never felt better. Healthy intestines are a wonderful thing.

Diveticulitis and colonoscopies. When you don't care where they stick it so long as it relieves the pain.

Be very careful I know how to inflict severe intestinal distress through sympathetic magic.

Listening is more important than speaking because someone somewhere just might, just might mind you, know something you don't.

bravo1102
…someone somewhere just might, just might mind you, know something you don't.

Nope.

bravo1102
Nah, just a movie camera to see if your intestines are okay and then a finger to make sure

OH GODS NOOOOOoooooo!




This is an older man thing, isn't it?

Brock Lesnar had diverticulitis that almost killed him. I'll bet he had that thick fat big black scope up his ass many times during that ordeal.

Here's a question: If you need a fecal sample taken (finger up your ass) at the ER… would you rather a male or a female nurse/doctor do it? State your gender (and orientation).

Answer:
I'd rather not talk about things either going inside or out of my bottom.
Thankyou.

1. Make no choices you regret or would be ashamed to share with Mom.

2. Always consider the feelings and opinions of others.

3. Going along with rule 2, respect the environment and your resources. You share your town and planet with others.

4. Always put in your best effort, no matter what the task.

5. Be honest in both word and deed. Be yourself. (Assuming rule 1 is followed, there is no harm in this.)

6. Embrace every life experience, bad or good, as an adventure. Expect that things will not always go according to your plan, and that's okay. Life is made richer by the unexpected.

7. Sometimes take a side road, just for the heck of it.

8. Wear your seatbelt.

ozoneocean

bravo1102
Nah, just a movie camera to see if your intestines are okay and then a finger to make sure

OH GODS NOOOOOoooooo!




This is an older man thing, isn't it?

Once you hit 40 “the finger wave” (prostate exam) is part of the standard physical exam. The colonoscopy is every 3-5 years once you hit 45-50. I started earlier because I had diverticulitis when I was 35. I went into the ER in the middle of the night. If I had waited until morning I could have been dead.

You know when you get one they will show you the camera and tube along with the travelogue through your colon and the locations of the polyps and the tissue samples…if you ask.

Leads to another rule: When you go to the doctor express your concerns and ask questions! It's your body. Nothing is too “icky” to discuss with a medical professional. It's their job to deal with the icky stuff.

This thread was all right until everyone started talking about butts.