This is gonna be sort of a follow up on the last article newspost I made. I’ve been trying to follow the advice that was given to me last time and I feel like it has already yielded some promising results. Problem is I’m still frustrated. Still conflicted on wether I should focus on one comic like I’ve been doing these last weeks and try to be effective, or if I really should try to revive the anything goes mentality I ran with before.
Because I can’t decide if these frustrations before was built upon not getting the results that I truly wanted out of it all, or if it was all just—well—jealousy. By the time a wrote that article and even the following weeks I’ve been struggling with feelings of jealousy towards my fellow creators. I’ve been committing the sin of comparing myself to other creators, particularly in the light of the soon to be concluded DD Awards.
Feelings like “why can’t I be that productive and be recogniced for it!” and “How long was it since I started my first comic? Four years! And I still haven’t reached a 100 pages yet! Wuuut!”. Emotions and thoughts like that. It’s kind of a new experience for me, because before non of it was that much of a factor—or at least I don’t remember it being that. For the most part I was able to just focus on my passion, not worry too much about progress and just do it for the fun of it all. After all we’re all just making webcomics on our free time - for the fun of it mostly - not Hollywood cinema. So what is there to be jealous about?
But then I’m hit with this overwhelming sense of insecurity and fear. What if I’m “failing” in this! What if I’ve wasted too much time on the worldbuilding stuff and now I’ve lost too much time to actually complete the stories! But at the same time I feel like time shouldn’t be too much of an issue. Progress shouldn’t be too much of an issue. I mean suppose you got it all done tomorrow and then you don’t know what to create next. It’s over! That would be a huge bummer for me. I would feel like I’ve lost my one and truly form of escapism, as all other forms of escapisms just doesn’t really do it for me anymore.
So! This has been yet another little vent. I would love to hear if anyone of you have ever struggled with feelings of jealousy at one point? It’s embarrassing to admit, I know, but it’s a thing that can happen even in a relatively small venue like ours, I think. Whenever and wherever you have people that is doing the same thing you do to compare yourself to, it can be a mistake easily made. Especially if you happen to have a bit of an ego about what you do like I do.
As always feel free to let me know your thoughts in the comments below and have a good Sunday.
Andreas_Helixfinger at 12:00AM, Oct. 15, 2023
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