Pee.
On.
It.

I got stabbed by a walrus.

Stab it back, go for the eyes boo, go for the eyes Raask!

My DS is haunted my an evil muffin ghost.

If it's a muffin, eat it.

I'm lazy.

Take a handful of adderol and wash it down with some Vault.

I need to find a new place to live soon.

Wander into a town, disarm the giant live nuke in the town center, and bam! You get a new house, with a office, bed, storage room, kitchen, living room, bobblehead stand, soda machine, and a freaking robo-butler!

I just got an apple computer, and after buying it, have realized it cannot play fallout 3! And I bought the game of the year addition with all the add-ons!

I dunno what to do about that. Live with it.

I'm lazier.

Help with the creation of the MobTies flash game!

Me and the MobTies team need a good flash artist, know anyone good?

I could be but I don't have a tablet. Too bad…

I entered my last post two posts too late.

Make a clone of yourself, and then slap it silly.

A pikachu is slapping another pikachu silly, should I do anything about it? Like maybe shoot one of them and steal the others briefcase?

Shoot a hadoken and fry both of them, then loot their bodies.

A black mage just hadoken'ed two pikachu's and is looting their bodies and doesn't see me and I have him in my crosshairs. Should I take the shot?

Shoot yourself in the foot, then run screaming into a shoe store and then order a cheese burger with curly fires.

I can't decide between choosing my class of either thief or mage for a new role-playing game on drunkduck.com. Which one?

Neither. Be a bard.

I just shot myself in the foot and the shoe store is out of curly flies.

Run to a shopping mall, and start singing pop music to hobo's outside the building.

Uh, Random just became GM, and his idea seems interesting, but much in drastic change. Should I try it out?

No, throw a fit and start a petition to boycott the game.

I just contracted food poisoning from a bad omelet.

Start laying your own eggs from now on.

Lot a suck does really me for which. Backwards are sentences my of some, crocodiles polar scandinavian the of mind malicious the and, technology alien of because.

Hit yourself repeatedly in the head with a shovel. Either that'll fix your speech or kill you. Either way, you won't have a problem anymore.

I have an insect collection due in one of my classes by the end of the semester and I've barely started working on it.

Start hunting for insects… but don't use a gun, those don't work.

The scandinvian polar crocodiles are taking over.

Hire some Icelandic narwhal mercenaries to fight against them.

My artist almost got himself killed by jumping off of a moving vehicle.

Wish him well, then don't ask Mettaur for help. (Bad advice, cuz I'm good artist and have free time…so good advice is wish him well and ask for my help.)

Random is kinda not making me pleased with his how he's doing as GM. Not mad at him, his first time running the game, but he's just frigging strategies up for teh sake of pure randomness. Plus, he can't tell a honesty which is told first from a jokey attempt at concerned seriousness later, especially when I make it clear it's not true what I say the second time. Just making me mad now! Damn…not too bad, but it's just…well, I guess I'm not used to it yet. But come on, he doesn't even post the roles! So a guy didn't get killed because his special power, which no one knew about, saved him, wasting that turn! Argh!

Stop trying to lynch me then Old Chap!
I'm The Boss you know?

The new Mafia GM election thread isn't up yet!

Plug Harkovast! That's the whole point of mafia right?

I need an artist and only one person has shown any interest :( (thanks Mett)

Get Hitler.

I haven't been posting comics in a while. It's gonna take me a little bit to get back into the rhythm.

*Puts gun to mattboy's head.* There. Now you have all the motivation you need.

I'm being chased by a Dahlik and I can't find Dr. Who to help me.

Buy a army of my indestructable attack piglets! Guarenteed to kill your bacon loving enemies!

I am making so much art for so many people, I'm not sure anyone appreciates it anymore.

Draw porn. EVERYBODY appreciates that.

I'm worried that my arms are going to fall off.

Learn to masturbate with your feet.


I've been poisoned by a vindictive platypus!

Read Forum Fighters! The samurai knows how to cure poison, he might help you…or he might just point and laugh as you die on the floor.

I need people to read my comic!

Strap them to a chair and force them to watch an endless cycle of your comic, over and over, 24 hours a day.

(Oddly, I was just reading Forum Fighters)



My room is filling with smoke for some reason, and it's getting a tad warm.

CAll over some hot women, and you got a sweaty dance party!

Okay, I got readers, but they don't leave any comments.

Pat yourself on the back, since you have awed them into silence.


Alright, I've got a smoky room full of hot sweaty women, there's fire lapping under the door, I'm nearly comatose from the platypus poison, and all the damn samurai will do is point and laugh at me.