I Am The 1337 Master
…Will a Rush fan in the game please shout out?

A Modern day warrior
Mean, mean stride
Today's Tom Sawyer
Mean, mean pride.

I just told some newbies to take their discussion off the rant thread because they'd been having it all day.

This is probably going to erupt into some Drunk Duck crisis because I reacted.

But it was ANNOYING!!!

Whatever…I'm mafia.

To Salsa:

I is an artist!

…
I AM MAFIA!!! I AM UNSTOPPABLE!!!

HA HA!

shirkersama
A Modern day warrior
Mean, mean stride
Today's Tom Sawyer
Mean, mean pride.

Somehow I knew it'd be you.
Yay!

I Am The 1337 Master
I just told some newbies to take their discussion off the rant thread because they'd been having it all day.

Just because you killed a discussion and good time between those two, proving that you Are a killer, and just because I thank you for doing it (because someone HAD to), does Not prove I am mafia, even if I messed up a code and edited a post, you mafia-pointing, self-pointing, finger guy.

Night is technically over but I'm working on the narration, as we speak.

Product Placement

TheFlyingGreenMonkey
I was hoping people would get back to the two times I was mayor. >:3

I see what you did there.

I Am The 1337 Master
METT EDITED HIS POST!!!
HE IS MAFIA!!!

GASP!

Only complete monsters edit their posts.

…pp-has-a-sense-of-humor?
0_0

TheFlyingGreenMonkey

I Am The 1337 Master
[

BFFSatan
My nice mahogany desk I leave to 1337

Ooh….
…Wood…

Was-waiting-for-that-lol

Randomdudeperson
…pp-has-a-sense-of-humor?
0_0

This is the best time to tell you, before I possibly die, that because of all those hyphens I've been reading all your posts in a robot voice. It's brought me great joy, so thanks. -thumbs up-
—
Of course even if I don't die, I'll likely die by popular opinion for having survived, so this is a catch-22. Ehehe, such nostalgia! ^^;

The reason why I have wanted Jack to bring is cause…I AM Jack! *Dramatic music* Just kidding. I am the secret role that no one will know until I die. Also I want Jack to kill the rest of the criminals. Cause I like his commercials more.

TheFlyingGreenMonkey
The reason why I have wanted Jack to bring is cause…I AM Jack! *Dramatic music* Just kidding. I am the secret role that no one will know until I die. Also I want Jack to kill the rest of the criminals. Cause I like his commercials more.

I'd hate to see the demise of a wonderful town, but based on commercials alone, I agree, Jack should win.

I like the stoner commercial.

Mettaur
I like the stoner commercial.

It was a good one.

Jack's son for Mayor!!

Jack vs. the King

Narration?

A Reaver
Narration?

I've seen worse.

Narration!

Tonight's narration is brought to you by Weird Al Yankovic.



The clenched fist knocked firmly on the door.
“Good evening.” said the owner of said fist, when the owner of said door opened it.
“What do you want?” said the homeowner annoyed, as he recognized the large oval shaped head that was bothering him.
“My associates tell me that you've been talking badly about my restaurant.” said the visitor- “I take these things personally, you know.”
“Your corporation sells death, poorly disguised as consumables!” shouted the homeowner angrily.
“Yeah… That's nice… Now be a good sport, try some of my food so you can see how wrong you are.” said the fast food promoter, handing him an appropriately labeled doggy bag.
“Get that crap away from me!” shouted the homeowner before being tackled by the guest.
“Now listen here! You little punk! My staff worked their but off making the best burgers around and you're going to try some!” yelled the fast food promoter, smothering a burger into his face.
“It's like eating the disfigured remains of a brutally tortured animal!”
“Good isn't it? Try some of my milk shake; It's made of real ice cream.”
“A cow was enslaved for that milk!” sobbed the food taster.
“How about the fries?”
“Well… those ain't so bad.”
“Ha ha. I thought so. They're boiled in animal fat, you know; for the fullness of flavor.”
“WHAT!?”
The taster was released of the weight of his oppressor who proceeded to fix his tie.
“Well, now you know that my food ain't all that bad so I'll be going now. But don't you dare talk trash about my store again, you hear?” he said before leaving the house.

The Vegan was defiled.

“It's about time I start doing something” said Ochi to herself.
Up until now she hadn't been sure what she was gonna do for the town but now she had a clear agenda. However, regardless of that agenda, there was someone around who didn't want her to achieve it.
“Your time is finally up, you rotten fiend!” proclaimed the self imposed hero of the town, while benching a trash can that was filled to the brim.
“Oh hey, I've heard of you.” said Ochi. “Good job with taking out a friendly last night.”
“Yeah… well… I suppose I should have looked before I leaped there.” said the sports hero all embarrassed before jumping up an apple tree and grabbing one of its fruits. “- But this time I have a reliable source that you are a no good for the town!”
What Ochi then witnessed was an impossible turn of events, where her would be rival throws the apple into the ground while jumping into the air from the tree performing a wide range of acrobatic stunts. The apple then bounces of the ground, into the hands of her airborn foe, who then throws it again into a light post. The apple smashes the light, setting it on flames, sending it flying onto a car, causing it to bounce back to her enemy who then kicks it into her face, lighting her up.
“How was that even remotely possible!?” screamed Ochi, flailing her arms around in pain - “Apples don't bounce!”
“Sure they do, if they have enough fiber” stated the cocky protector.

Ochitsukanai AKA Wendy couldn't handle all that fiber.

Monkey was annoyed as he was awoken from his couch by a knock on the door. How come so many of these narrations start with a knock on the door, anyways? I guess it's just a convenient way to start a story about two people meeting.
“Try this” said a surly voice, handing monkey a box.
“I'm not going to eat something that was made by a creepy clown.”
“Why are you people being so difficult.” grumbled the man, shooting monkey in the torso. “- if you'd just eat the damn burger, I wouldn't have to kill you.”
“This is the crappiest costumer service I've ever encountered” complained Monkey.
“You don't like it; talk to the management.”

TheFlyingGreenMonkey the Vegetarian was an unsatisfied customer.

1337 Master was finishing up his soap opera when he heard a knock on the door.
“The hell with that. I'm not an idiot” said 1337 master to himself and jumped out of the window, running away.
“Well that's odd. I could have sworn someone was home, since the lights are on in this house” said the colonel to himself and fixed his glasses before taking of his fancy hat to scratch his head. He was visiting cause only chickens leave their lights on at night.

I Am The 1337 Master ran off into the night.

In other news:

B.K. Had an interesting night. Despite having trouble finding his target, he ended up meeting up with one of his partners in crime.

The fitness trainer was so displeased with the flaccid performance of his training partner from the previous night, that he decided to drag him into the gym again.

And as 1337 ditched town, another villager returned.
“I certainly hope that Harkovast is off the menu.” he muttered to himself.

Night 2 is over.

Day 3 has begun.

Colonel
I kill 1337 now!

Narration
ULTIMATE FAILURE!!!

HA!

I fart in your general direction!

Not Salsa but hell, that was entertaining.

I'm still voting Salsa until the mafia decides that they're stupid enough to vote with me.

Seriously though, don't kill the guy claiming to be mafia (I'm mafia!) and going against his mayor.


By the way, have I mentioned how mafia I am?

I do believe that Mr Salsa might just have redeemed himself.

and hahaha, 1337 proves that he can fly faster than a chicken!

Product Placement
Ochitsukanai AKA Wendy couldn't handle all that fiber.

v007ness, now lets lynch these turkeys.

I Am The 1337 Master
I'm still voting Salsa until the mafia decides that they're stupid enough to vote with me.

You're not voting for anyone tonight. You're not in town anymore, remember?

Can't use any of your abilities until you're back in town, which will be at the end of night 3.

Product Placement

I Am The 1337 Master
I'm still voting Salsa until the mafia decides that they're stupid enough to vote with me.

You're not voting for anyone tonight. You're not in town anymore, remember?

Can't use any of your abilities until you're back in town, which will be at the end of night 3.

Does that include stoner posts?

ayesinback
Does that include stoner posts?

Of course not.

But yes. I understand now.

Vote for Salsa for me everyone!

Peace suckas.



EDITZ (ooh, ah, MAFIA!)

Five of these people are enemies. My bets are in red.:


Mettaur the Atomic Mirelurk.
Anthony Mercer the Emotional Lurker.
Salsa the Luckless. (MAFIA!!!)
shirkersama
D_Dude
Randomdudeperson the Confusing.
Byndris
Gullas the Impaler and Terrible Gambler.
Niccea the Great Deceiver and Keeper of Records.
ayesinback
crocty the Usual Suspect.


My three “I'm pretty positives” are:
Mettaur
Randomdudeperson
Niccea (Is is Nick-E-uh or nich-E-uh by the way…)

Why I think this:
Mett is more talkative unless he's being completely inactive. Trust me. Mett's easy to read.
Random accused me! Me! I mean, c'mon…well actually I don't have evidence, I'm trusting my gut.
Niccea plays a quiet game no matter what she is. But she is pretty much completely silent when she's mafia. And I just always accuse her.

And then the secret mafia member is me.

Hahaha…I've always been a terrible liar, always. I lie so rarely that perhaps it is a lack of practice.

At least it maintains my perfect record of never being lynched, though. I had fun solving some clues wrong, and even though I had to write three essays this week, I was having conversations the entire time and was really happy. So rather than feeling like I failed because I wasn't good enough, I just feel terribly fortunate to know such excellent people.

Back to being retired, then. OCHISAURUS AWAAAAAAY

The colonel has a hat. Mett has a hat. Mett is the colonel maybe possibly.
I'm gonna take a nap, when I wake up I will try to look for better clues. Until then, I say lynch Mett.

Ochitsukanai
Back to being retired, then. OCHISAURUS AWAAAAAAY

Awww. As long as it's not a permanent retirement!! [it was that durn ol Product clue about drama that made me suspect you were up to no good — not the worse that could be said about some one :) )

Narration
1337 Master was finishing up his soap opera when he heard a knock on the door.
“The hell with that. I'm not an idiot” said 1337 master to himself and jumped out of the window, running away.
“Well that's odd. I could have sworn someone was home, since the lights are on in this house” said the colonel to himself and fixed his glasses before taking of his fancy hat to scratch his head. He was visiting cause only chickens leave their lights on at night.

Glasses possibly a clue.

Note that it's a FANCY hat. My hat is an ice cream cone plastered to a cookie. Not very fancy. And since The Colonel doesn't wear one usually, must be a clue. Search the avatars!

The Glasses and hat are pointing to the role not the person. Surly and creepy keep popping up in the MickeyD's narrations though.

edit( yeah I know “blah blah I'm Mafia” ):Strike that!

I think D_Dude is the Colonel. Reason, who else besides me always wears a hat? Okay and Mett too, but I think He'd probably be Jack in that Case.

The colonel doesn't normally wear a hat (that I know of) so I don't see how that would be referring to the role. It does seem kind of obvious to be a clue though. Jack, on the other hand, does wear a pointy hat, so that would make sense as a clue for that role.
D_Dude does have a fancier hat than Mett. Normally I would suggest TFGM what with his immaculate green fedora and all, but the whole death thing clears him from suspicion…or does it?
Could the lights thing be a clue?

Narration
“Your time is finally up, you rotten fiend!” proclaimed the self imposed hero of the town, while benching a trash can that was filled to the brim.

Waff?

shirkersama
D_Dude does have a fancier hat than Mett

My current hat isn't exactly fancy. At least I don't see how it is any fancier than a wizards hat.

Salsa
Who else besides me always wears a hat?

TFGM?
Edit: Oh wait. Hes dead.

Lets-see-if-i-can-remember-all-i-was-going-to-say.

@0chi—I-use-the(-)signs-cause-my-space-bar-is-broken,dont-know-if-you-knew.

@TFGM–HAHA,…..knew-it.

@Salsa-Damn,she-coulda-helped-us-out-lol

@TFGM-post-narration—BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!–ROFL!!!

@Jack-advers.—^^^

@l33t—2-things,first,chicken.2nd,no-im-not-accusing-you,im-just-agreeing-with-you.8D

@D_dude–Waff-is-playing?But-yah,thought-same-thing-lol

@anyone-that-wasnt-@ed…Do-i-know-any-of-you?No?ok-then,i-dont-feel-too-bad-then,gn.