The Duck Webcomics

fern at 7:10PM, June 27, 2007

(online)

posts: 3,779

joined: 5-31-2006

You decide to live in a cardboard box… unfortunately you forgot that when wet, cardboard becomes quick-sand and you drown.

Aids

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last edited on July 14, 2011 12:26PM

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dangerfunk at 7:55AM, June 28, 2007

(online)

posts: 72

joined: 5-12-2007

Despite never having sex with her, your old decrepit lover blames you for giving her AIDS. She then stabs you in your jaw with a rusty knife, which then gives you tetanus and your muscles begin to spasm uncontrollably. Unfortunately, this all happens in front of the tyrannical despot of your country. He takes your flailing around as an insult and orders you to be shot. Lucky for you, your mother knows his mother, so you get a couple days to live before your execution. You spend those final days in prison with television privileges and conjugal visits because of good behavior. And guess what? You contract AIDS from a dude named Stacy in the shower and die from complications. Awww…

Let's see…

try a can of Febreze air freshener

last edited on July 14, 2011 12:05PM

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Cthulhu at 7:59AM, June 28, 2007

(online)

posts: 5,086

joined: 4-18-2006

You lean in to smell it, but it sucks you in, and chops you up.

A pebble.

(HA! 666th post!)

last edited on July 14, 2011 11:56AM

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yaz47 at 8:04AM, June 28, 2007

(online)

posts: 300

joined: 5-12-2007

You are riding your bike, when it flys down your throat. You choke to death.

A time bomb.

(\__/)
(o.O )“I am Bunny!Copy me on to your signature or I dis-embowel you!”
(> < )

last edited on July 14, 2011 4:53PM

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ZeroVX at 9:06AM, June 28, 2007

(online)

posts: 4,098

joined: 5-28-2006

You defuse it and run off, but then someone throws it at you, fracturing your skull.

Fangirls.

“If our own government was responsible for the deaths of almost 100,000 people…..would you really wanna know?”

V for Vendetta, V.

last edited on July 14, 2011 4:58PM

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Kohdok at 9:31AM, June 28, 2007

(online)

posts: 772

joined: 5-18-2007

For some reason, you decide to go to an anime convention dressed as Inu-Yasha, Sephiroth, Ichigo, or Proto Man. The resulting rush of fangirls tramples you and the glompers slowly suffocate you to death!

Edit: Almost forgot!

A wacom Intuos tablet!

highest rating so far has been #11 in comic books, #13 overall. It's pageviews are almost half a million!!

Croi Dhubh
Holy f***ing win!

last edited on July 14, 2011 1:20PM

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fern at 10:02AM, June 28, 2007

(online)

posts: 3,779

joined: 5-31-2006

The Wacom Intuos tablet spills acid from its screen onto your face leaving nothing but bones… although you survive the incident, you're still ugly and cannot find a date, you commit suicide by hanging yourself with an electrical cord.

Jesus Juice.

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last edited on July 14, 2011 12:26PM

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AQua_ng at 10:28AM, June 28, 2007

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posts: 7,827

joined: 4-6-2006

Apparently, only one in a billion of us are deathly allergic to Jesus Juice. Hard luck mate.

J-Rock.

K.A.L.A-dan! Brigade Captain :D
K.A.L.A.-dan forums!

last edited on July 14, 2011 10:56AM

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fern at 11:02AM, June 28, 2007

(online)

posts: 3,779

joined: 5-31-2006

J-Rock automatically kills you.

GTA:IV

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last edited on July 14, 2011 12:26PM

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ZeroVX at 12:32PM, June 28, 2007

(online)

posts: 4,098

joined: 5-28-2006

Jack Thompson rants about it until you get so annoyed you kill yourself.

Super Smash Bros. Brawl.

“If our own government was responsible for the deaths of almost 100,000 people…..would you really wanna know?”

V for Vendetta, V.

last edited on July 14, 2011 4:58PM

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fern at 12:38PM, June 28, 2007

(online)

posts: 3,779

joined: 5-31-2006

Shigeru Miyamoto rants about it until you get so annoyed you kill yourself.

Community College.

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last edited on July 14, 2011 12:26PM

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Kohdok at 1:05PM, June 28, 2007

(online)

posts: 772

joined: 5-18-2007

The thought of a full semester of college costing less than $1000 causes your head to explode from the inconceivability.

highest rating so far has been #11 in comic books, #13 overall. It's pageviews are almost half a million!!

Croi Dhubh
Holy f***ing win!

last edited on July 14, 2011 1:20PM

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fern at 1:40PM, June 28, 2007

(online)

posts: 3,779

joined: 5-31-2006

You forgot to add a new item, Kohdok…

Cheese.

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last edited on July 14, 2011 12:26PM

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ZeroVX at 1:48PM, June 28, 2007

(online)

posts: 4,098

joined: 5-28-2006

You eat it, only to find out you are severly lactose intolerant.

A Japanese schoolgirl.

“If our own government was responsible for the deaths of almost 100,000 people…..would you really wanna know?”

V for Vendetta, V.

last edited on July 14, 2011 4:58PM

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fern at 1:56PM, June 28, 2007

(online)

posts: 3,779

joined: 5-31-2006

A Japanese Chris Hansen walks in and tells you sit down… then the Japanese schoolgirls stabs you with a Sailor Moon… moon.

Initial D

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last edited on July 14, 2011 12:26PM

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Will at 1:32AM, June 29, 2007

(online)

posts: 383

joined: 2-10-2007

you start to watch an episode of inital d, when suddenly you are sucked into the episode through a wormhole. dosorientated, you walk onto the street and are almost run over by a drifting car. you regain your balance, only to get your foot run over by a second drifting car. you start hobbling around and come to rest on the bumper bar on the side of a cliff, when suddenly a third car comes by and knocks you off the cliff with its super awesome drifting wind.

a flower petal

Will
putting your own quote into your sig is the post pretentious and pathetic thing anyone could ever do.

last edited on July 14, 2011 4:49PM

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Eagle at 3:56PM, June 29, 2007

(offline)

posts: 82

joined: 6-29-2007

Whilst playing the ever popular “Love Me Not” game, you throw a petal into the air only to find it floats into your mouth at such a specific angle that it blocks your air passage.

A copy of the Tool album, Enima.

Enema.

last edited on July 14, 2011 12:18PM

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SomaX at 12:03AM, July 1, 2007

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posts: 271

joined: 2-8-2007

While listening to the cd, the cd player starts on fire due to over use. At that point, you either burn alive or commit suicide because you have ruined the cd of “the best fucking band, ever” as you put it.

a sponge bob plushie

~*~

#253 in Comic Book/Story #344 Overall ~*~ #383 in Comic Book/Story #517 Overall

last edited on July 14, 2011 3:49PM

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fern at 12:05AM, July 1, 2007

(online)

posts: 3,779

joined: 5-31-2006

The Plushie will come to life and you marry it and have many kids… One day you have a heartattack from the food the Plushie made…

Google Earth.

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last edited on July 14, 2011 12:26PM

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SomaX at 12:31AM, July 1, 2007

(offline)

posts: 271

joined: 2-8-2007

Michael Jackson could not find any pictures of little boys and made the world explode.

penguins

~*~

#253 in Comic Book/Story #344 Overall ~*~ #383 in Comic Book/Story #517 Overall

last edited on July 14, 2011 3:49PM

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fern at 12:39AM, July 1, 2007

(online)

posts: 3,779

joined: 5-31-2006

Everyone knows that Penguins are vicious killers in the first place, so it's common sense!

Powerade.

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last edited on July 14, 2011 12:26PM

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SomaX at 12:43AM, July 1, 2007

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posts: 271

joined: 2-8-2007

someone puts poison in it

DrunkDuck.com

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#253 in Comic Book/Story #344 Overall ~*~ #383 in Comic Book/Story #517 Overall

last edited on July 14, 2011 3:49PM

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fern at 1:00AM, July 1, 2007

(online)

posts: 3,779

joined: 5-31-2006

It's already killing you. Very, very slowly.

Tegan and Sara.

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last edited on July 14, 2011 12:26PM

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SomaX at 1:06AM, July 1, 2007

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posts: 271

joined: 2-8-2007

They are behind you right now with a rabid bunny.

The colour orange

~*~

#253 in Comic Book/Story #344 Overall ~*~ #383 in Comic Book/Story #517 Overall

last edited on July 14, 2011 3:49PM

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fern at 1:08AM, July 1, 2007

(online)

posts: 3,779

joined: 5-31-2006

The colour orange realizes that nothing rhymes with orange so it goes on a killing spree! Unfortunately you were caught in the crossfire and died.

Zombies

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last edited on July 14, 2011 12:26PM

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SomaX at 1:12AM, July 1, 2007

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posts: 271

joined: 2-8-2007

When the Drunk Duck zombies community project begins, you will be one of the first victems.

Emos

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#253 in Comic Book/Story #344 Overall ~*~ #383 in Comic Book/Story #517 Overall

last edited on July 14, 2011 3:49PM

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fern at 1:18AM, July 1, 2007

(online)

posts: 3,779

joined: 5-31-2006

INVALID!

Emos cannot kill anyone.

Internet Explorer 5.

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last edited on July 14, 2011 12:26PM

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SomaX at 1:22AM, July 1, 2007

(offline)

posts: 271

joined: 2-8-2007

It will blow up your computer while you are on it.

careerbuilder.com

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#253 in Comic Book/Story #344 Overall ~*~ #383 in Comic Book/Story #517 Overall

last edited on July 14, 2011 3:49PM

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fern at 1:24AM, July 1, 2007

(online)

posts: 3,779

joined: 5-31-2006

You will get a job from posting your resume. Unfortunately the boss is a freaky bastard and rapes you to death… tough but honest. All thanks to careerbuilder.com

LOST the show.

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last edited on July 14, 2011 12:26PM

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Evil_Snuffkin at 1:27PM, July 1, 2007

(online)

posts: 934

joined: 1-6-2006

You miss one episode and it confuses you so much that your head explodes.

A can of pepsi.

last edited on July 14, 2011 12:24PM

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