Hahaha! Exactly!
But I don't mind people using their phones and tablets as long as they're extending their range of communication… unless they're ignoring their partner to do it.

@Bravo and Scarf- I'm talking about conversation as opposed to being a human dear diary. If you could just as easily be replaced by a page in a notebook for a bathroom wall then there's not much point to you being there. :)

And that is why you're not a mental health care professional, nor should you ever consider being one. Lol.



And also marriage might be out of the question too. :D :D

I understand better than you can believe. Or maybe you can. Then I went to couples counseling, communication skills, anger management, group therapy and CBT.

Start with “I” statements and express your feelings simply. Criticize the behavior, not the person.

“I feel that you are doing a disservice to this great story by telling it so often. The first six times it was great but now, I ever tell you about the time I rolled a car?”

"I am frustrated and would like my turn to speak? I think I may have some points worth considering.

Ask if they really want your input or just to listen.

And before you know it you'll be charging $125 for every 45 minutes or at least they'll offer to pick up the tab. ;)

You'll probably get to the US before I get to Aus so we have got to meet and just talk with each other for a few hours.

1 And also marriage might be out of the question too. :D :D


2 "I am frustrated and would like my turn to speak? I think I may have some points worth considering.

A “2” would never have worked inside my “1” B-)

….and totally out of nowhere (just the way my brain is) “Ozone Ocean” …or “Oz: One Ocean” ???

BearinOz wrote:

1 And also marriage might be out of the question too. :D :D


2 "I am frustrated and would like my turn to speak? I think I may have some points worth considering.

A “2” would never have worked inside my “1” B-)

….and totally out of nowhere (just the way my brain is) “Ozone Ocean” …or “Oz: One Ocean” ???

The wife has to be there for couples therapy too so she has to commit to it too. No winners or losers, just partners.

If not remember the rule of thumb. Can't use a stick thicker than your thumb to beat some sense into her. :|

bravo1102 wrote:

I don't think you're taking your own advice here man XD
But thank you for the lecture ;)

ozoneocean wrote:

bravo1102 wrote:

I don't think you're taking your own advice here man XD
But thank you for the lecture ;)

It's a work in progress. ;)

I keep giving the advice, one day I'll remember to take it. Have to keep reminding myself.

What I'm talking about is that there are “two” people who both have feelings and thoughts, and the idea of them sharing and bouncing off one another as communication goes back and forth.

NOT two competing, jousting, fencing monologists waiting for their turn to dominate.

And also not one monologist with valid feelings and ideas talking at another person who is forced to subsume their thoughts and feelings.

Only the first qualifies as conversation. The other two are something else. There's a time and place for all but they're not the same thing.

ozoneocean wrote:
What I'm talking about is that there are “two” people who both have feelings and thoughts, and the idea of them sharing and bouncing off one another as communication goes back and forth.

NOT two competing, jousting, fencing monologists waiting for their turn to dominate.

And also not one monologist with valid feelings and ideas talking at another person who is forced to subsume their thoughts and feelings.

Only the first qualifies as conversation. The other two are something else. There's a time and place for all but they're not the same thing.

Sometimes you have to settle for what you can get. I might have one or two of those a week and the rest of the time I listen.

Now let the cynic speak:

No one really wants to exchange ideas. They want to pontificate and expound their own vision of things seeking validation of others. That's the hard, cold truth behind the behavior of people seeking “conversation ” People really don't want to listen but roll out their genius and have everyone bask in its brilliance. Not listen and then make valid points.

In conclusion it is far better to keep your mouth closed and be thought a fool, then to open your mouth and remove all doubt.

As a fool, I know it's wiser for me to listen than to spout my own nonsense. Every time I ever try to communicate with you that is driven home again and again.

But there's no one else I would rather speak with, and I mean that.

ozoneocean wrote:
@Bravo and Scarf- I'm talking about conversation as opposed to being a human dear diary. If you could just as easily be replaced by a page in a notebook for a bathroom wall then there's not much point to you being there. :)

Also not much point in calling it a conversation if you consistenly dismiss other's contributions as irrelevant.

ozoneocean wrote:

Genejoke wrote:
fingers crossed I can afford to emigrate in a couple of years.

Where would you emigrate too?

——————-

OMG I am sick of chatting to people online. All people are interested in doing is bloody monologuing! WTF? Has it always been this way and I didn't notice it because I was a weirdo?

I'm talking about private chat conversations here, not open posts.
Sure, there's back and forth with some people but they seem to be in the teeny minority. most people just seem to want a person to talk at for whatever reason. There's zero need for responses virtually. And don't bother making observations, offering insight or asking questions, just stand there and bathe under the torrent of inanity.

I really do wonder if I'm a strange exception in wanting back and fourth in a conversion… Because I know plenty of people who monologue at you in person too. Or is it just that most people are shit communicators?

I HATE feeling like I'm monologuing at someone- just talking at them. That makes me feel awful. That doesn't seem to be an issue for most though.

Spain, better climate and the area I'd love in is fairly remote. I've wanted to go to Canada for years but I don't think I can do that even with my family connections. Spain though, that I can possibly do if this whole brexit malarkey doesn't bugger it up.


And for your thing, yeah I know what you mean. I do wonder if it's down to the type of people you get on with, or maybe it's a sign of the times and people are generally not listening and just want an audience.

Finally move onto my flat next week, once I'm set up I can get back to creative things. Well I will if my monitor doesn't die on me before I can afford to buy a replacement. Being skint sucks,

Genejoke wrote:
Finally move onto my flat next week, once I'm set up I can get back to creative things. Well I will if my monitor doesn't die on me before I can afford to buy a replacement. Being skint sucks,

Indeed it does. Hope the move goes well and those creative things will be up and running soon. Digits crossed.

There's a running joke where I live.

Due to the mass exodus out of the state for numerous reasons, “last person out of the state please turn off the lights.”

bravo1102 wrote:
There's a running joke where I live.

Due to the mass exodus out of the state for numerous reasons, “last person out of the state please turn off the lights.”

…something Australians have been saying about Kiwis (coming over here) for decades -)

Ironscarf wrote:
Also not much point in calling it a conversation if you consistenly dismiss other's contributions as irrelevant.

*sigh* I covered that over and over… and said it's a monologue.

You and Bravo, though I love you both deeply, genuinely respect you all the ways to kingdom come and back, I'd defend you with my life, and even help you move on a Sunday… But you're both going at my conversation idea with the fixed notion that the “listener” is the problem rather than actively considering the reality of the points presented.

It's not that I crave agreement, it's that it's often more interesting to build on a notion: We give the idea presented the benefit of the doubt and add to the conversation, rather than taking a contrary position and requiring the person to either defend their idea or concede. That's just tiring and tends to discourage further participation.

—————————–

@Genejoke-
Spain is a beautiful place. Lovely weather, I liked my time there. Definitely try and move. If your monitor dies I can send you an old one. It'll only be 19 inch but I'd pay postage- or even contribute to buying you a new one through a local seller.

@ozoneocean, I can go over the pyramid of human interaction: wants, needs, desires. I have tried to go over the dynamics of human communication.

For asking for a Utopia of intellectual interaction that is rare. In my life it has a rarely achieved ideal. I can count the number of people I have enjoyed that type of conversation with on my fingers. I have come to be content with listening and accepting the purgatory of monologues I listen to. Life is pain. :D

I say talk to tantzaerine. She's so insightful and knowledgeable and inevitably convincing. It's coming on a year since my cruise in the Eastern Mediterranean and the best part in retrospect was the few hours I spent in her company.

Hopefully Mayan ruins will make up for it for this years trip to the Western Caribbean.

I discovered my new(ish) kitten Zeni is some sort of mosaic. He's a ginger tabby that has a couple patches of silver/black fur. I thought he was just dirty, but now that he's growing up, it's obviously his pigmentation.



Anyway, I concluded it's a somatic mutation from some point in embryonic development. (Basically, a cell mutated along the line somewhere and gave rise to a small line of mutated cells. He has mismatched genes.)

From a distance, it looks like his back is wet or dirty, so it's not exactly an awe-inspiring coloration – even if it is an unusual one.

Thanks Ozone, that is an amazingly kind offer, one I don't need to take you up on fortunately. My monitor gave up the ghost this morning, but with a bit of spending rejigging and good use of special offer and discount my nephew's staff discount I managed to get a replacement at half price. Who needs a washing machine… I'll just visit the launderette for a month or two and by then I'll have recouped the money spent on monitor. Mostly packed for moving tomorrow, just a few odds and ends left.

Hey everyone!

Hey there right back atcha!

I think everyone has gone on summer vacation - or else they're waiting for some fool to make the last post on the page.

Genejoke wrote:
Thanks Ozone, that is an amazingly kind offer, one I don't need to take you up on fortunately. My monitor gave up the ghost this morning, but with a bit of spending rejigging and good use of special offer and discount my nephew's staff discount I managed to get a replacement at half price. Who needs a washing machine… I'll just visit the launderette for a month or two and by then I'll have recouped the money spent on monitor. Mostly packed for moving tomorrow, just a few odds and ends left.

Glad you got a replacement! :D

I've been doing way more cosplay stuff than comics recently… Just WAAAAAAYYYYY more…

I've been writing my novel and taking a break from my comic. So, it is back in production.

I just looked at the calendar and am amazed that it is already September and I'm one week away from this year's vacation cruise.

Twenty-fifth wedding anniversary calls for another cruise. So off the the western Caribbean and finally a chance to look at all those pre-Colombian ruins I've been reading about since I was in grade school.

Buuut, that's not why I'm posting.

Who will step forward to do the DD Awards this year? It's September! Usually the idea thread is up already. So many talented and organized folks on here who could step forward to shower their peers with the awards they deserve!

And you do not want me doing it. Trust me. I'm good at helping and guiding leaders, but not taking the reins myself.

Congrats, bravo!

Usually the awards are judging in September. I'm never able to help because of seasonal work. Still ~3 months left. And I'm falling behind on my own projects. And still kinda moving into my house. (Fingers crossed. I might get a STOVE this week.)

I can help in winter, but seems like everyone else is busy, so we don't get the participation. :P

I noticed a little over a month ago that it looked like Niccea might not be hosting the awards this year (which she'd hinted might be the case). I would have volunteered to host or co-host, but I've been tied up putting a comic together for the DD anthology project… which I'm not even sure is going to be a real thing… and which my entry is probably too long for anyway.

It's getting late to start now; you have to give your volunteers a few weeks or so to clear up some time to work on their submissions, and then the judging takes like a month… and once you hit the holidays, nothing's getting done anyway.

Start now with a live date in February. Just after the Academy awards?

bravo1102 wrote:
Start now with a live date in February. Just after the Academy awards?

I guess the 2019 awards don't necessarily need to go live in 2019…

El Cid wrote:
I would have volunteered to host or co-host, but I've been tied up putting a comic together for the DD anthology project… which I'm not even sure is going to be a real thing… and which my entry is probably too long for anyway.

I was holding off on that as no decision has been made as to number of pages or page dimensions, if it happens. What did you go for, out of interest?

For my page dimensions, I went with the Ka-Blam template. The comic itself is a mini-caper set in the universe of my ‘Transneptunian’ comic. Sadly, I'm more or less incapable of writing anything short, so it's already cracked 25 pages. It will likely run something like 32-ish pages all said and done. If it doesn't make the anthology, I'm sure I'll find somewhere else to post it!

And I was worrying about going over six pages! Ka-Blam template is a good bet, should work for most printers.

Call Me Tom wrote:
Is thinking about killing my self really a bad thing? I can't help but think that the world will be left a little better off with one less cyst white guy?

Stop listening to those ignorant fools. There is only one race; the human race. Color is skin deep adaptation to sunlight and has nothing to do with self worth.

Want to talk about colonialism and imperialism? Let's talk about pre-Columbian indigenous people or the Egyptians or Chaldeans or Chinese or South Seas islanders. It's human cross-cultural social behavior.

And straight? That's biology. There's a species to propagate. Hundred thousand years of hunter gathering tribal groups now thinking we have a answers about our behavior after a few hundred years of science after 4000 years of backwards thinking and superstition?

The optimist knows we live in the best of worlds, the pessimists fear this is so. Don't let the ignorant get you down.

Life is a banquet, no need to starve.

What bravo1102 said.

—

I don't know how bad thinking about it is and I'm guessing many of us have done so at one time or another. Going through with it is definitely a bad thing and tends to cause long lasting pain for loved ones. You'll also miss out on all the things you would have seen and done and the world will be a less interesting place.

People who take their own lives see no possible alternative. If only they had stuck around a while longer, those alternatives would inevitably present themselves. It's a lovely day tomorrow.