Sorry to hear that, Hippie; it's gotta be rough to deal with.

HippieVan wrote:
After two messages with no response, I sent her a third one just telling her that I'm done. It's sort of a relief in a way, but I've always been waiting for the sky to fall every day since.

The hard thing in these kinds of situation is to give the money up as basically “lost”. She MAY have a change of heart and return it in future but it's very unlikely.

Being on good terms with her is more important than money, no matter how much you needed it and how much you lost. You can't get it back any easier by being on bad terms with her or severing communication anyway.

My advice would be to “forget” the money issue for now and bury the hatchet. Reconcile with her.
You could always guilt trip her later if she tried to be silly about something else like that in the future.

Holy fuck, for real? I don't mean to be harsh but that's super dumb advice to give to someone. Especially when you don't know the entire situation or the history of a relationship. My relationship with my mom has *never* been good. She left my sisters and I and moved across the country, for goodness sake. She belittles me, laughs at me when I share my feelings, and has never respected my boundaries. She has paid far less in child support for myself and my little sister than she ought to, all the while buying a big country house, a new phone, pets, a fancy camera, a trip to Africa, a tablet, etc. She made me spend time with her abusive alcoholic father. She refuses to communicate or outright lies when things go wrong. Even when I was a young kid, our relationship was always on her terms; spending time with her meant doing the things she liked to do.
The fact that I'm finally ready to stand up for myself and stop letting her hurt me endlessly is a good thing. It's a pretty important step for me really.

Edit: I really shouldn't have to add all that to justify my decision, either. “She stole from me the one time she had access to my money, knowing it was intended for my education” isn't a solid basis for any kind of relationship, nevermind a familial one.

Sorry Hippie, I didn't know all the full story of your relationship history with her. I was going off of the experiences in my own extended family with the feuds and money issues that have happened over he decades. There's always some huge sticking point that people let get between them that causes more and more issues for years after.

In your case it seems to be an issue of a “last straw”. I understand that. It's a little different.

Hippie, I'm really sorry about how your Mom continues to fail at mothering.

My 2 brothers and I still rant about ours, and almost wish she would have abandoned us since she made it abundantly clear over the years what disappointments we are (well, not so much the MBA/CPA/JD one, except he's gay, so…).

I have trust issues that will probably always trip me up because of the parenting I got. So creating boundaries is critical. Definitely give yourself the space you need.

But I urge you not to use the word “never,” ever.

My Mom is very ill now (a rather rare disorder related to Parkinson's). She can barely speak (it's a mental battle, and she had had a 149 IQ – I can guess what torture it is for her), so she has to choose what she's going to say. And after 50 years, she is now telling me that she loves me.

It doesn't make up for everything in the past, but being a parent myself, I realize how parents can be very faulty creatures. Some faults can't be forgiven, but life continues to reshape us all.

Give yourself the peace you need and deserve, but I urge you not to make any ultimatum that would grieve you in the future.

I 'm truly hoping the best for you.

I guess this is where having a wife who was a legal secretary and a sister with political connections pays off. Lawyers.


“I'm not going to let you get away with that, and this is my attorney.” And the strange little man jumps out a car and slaps an envelope in their hands and says “You've been served” But that is usually the last resort.


With the combined forty plus years my sister and I have been in therapy we have learned and love all those interpersonal communications skills, problem solving, and coping skills and support networks.


Speaking of support networks. We are here, we will hear you out and every once in a while we may even understand what you are saying. Though all we can offer is typed words on a screen we all truly wish you the best hippie. I wish I could reach through cyber space and give you a hug and a few poignant and acerbic one-liners that pierce the heart of the matter and are so full of pithy wisdom. But, I seem to be fresh out. I usually try to save some up for times like this but work has been pretty nasty lately and I had to do some finagling to get the weekend off.

@ Hippie
I'm going to echo what Eyesinback said,
My mother was horrible on all accounts. Physically and emotionally abusive. a pathological liar (I believe an undiagnosed borderline personality disorder). She got a credit card in my name and let her Mexican boyfriend, that she was cheating on my stepdad with, use it to pay for gas to Mexico and back(from Virginia). When I started working, I had to cover the mortgage a couple of times. When us kids were older, my sister stopped talking to her completely, and I barely did any better.
She got cancer, but she lied so much that I didn't believe her. The last time I saw her was at my wedding. She was bald from chemo, She broke down and cried and told me she was a terrible mother. I didn't know what to say. I also didn't know it was the last conversation we'd ever have.
She died a two months later at the age of 48. I didn't make it back from Seattle in time to see her. My sister, who hadn't talked to her in years saw her on her death bed. She couldn't talk any more, but she tried to reach for my sister to hug her, but she didn't make it.
It broke My heart to watch my sister fall apart trying to tell me this story. I don't know your situation, so I thought I'd share mine, for whatever that's worth.

Sucks to hear Hippie, I work at a bank and when I was a teller, I would see this kind of stuff all the time and, more commonly, elderly financial abuse. It's so disheartening to see.

I shouldn't have snapped at ozone earlier. It's just an emotional topic. I appreciate the kind words and support, guys.

Wow… Bad Moms! I was estranged from my mother for years (won't go into detail except to say she echoed MANY of the attribute everyone else is saying….). One day, on a lark, right after I'd gotten remarried, I decided to visit her. She was in a wheelchair, very sick, but we got to speak a little… No apologies or anything, but at least some acknowledgement and well-wishing…

Then, just a few days later she suffered a massive stroke, and we watched as it took almost a week for her body to die after being taken off support (by our choice - her mind was totally destroyed…)

As awful as she was, I do have some guilt that I didn't try to reach out sooner… But who knows, if she'd been healthy then it might've been awful *shrug* Still, glad I did right at the end…

But… despite similarities, everyone's situation is different!!

No ones mother is perfect. Mine definitely wasn't. She was very loving, but also very overprotective of my siblings and I, then my niece. She became mellow as the years passed though and played with my niece a lot in her last years while her mother worked. I just wish she had stayed in the world longer so she could enjoy all of her grandchildren.



Aaand I found a game with some hilarious endings. Let's just say that if you wish for a love potion, don't fight someone else for it. The results can get… weird… And that's among all the weird endings this arcade game has depending on who who you and your friend picked when playing together…



Starting at 19:25
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rQxHjsaaRzI


Maybe I could try making a similar game using Drunkduck characters… hmm…

My room shook about three hours ago to a 5.1 earthquake.

Summer break has started and I finally get a chance to ease up on the gas pedal that I have been over exhausting while working seven day work weeks for the last seven months. My jobs have been very interesting and I have been meeting incredible individuals along the way.

I accepted a long-term position to be the acting teacher of the most unique classroom of brilliant young pupils during the last month of the school year. It taught me valuable life lessons on behavior management and team dynamics while leading a group of adults that were twice my age. I received commendations on my ability to handle the situation with gracefulness while remaining diplomatic. I was given a solar powered light jar decorated with each student's thumbprint and the words, “You Are a Light in Our Lives” written across the top. On especially dark nights, I light up the jar and it illuminates my room with the same light those kids brought into my life. It was a life-enriching experience.

I picked up a fourth job as a studio assistant at the yoga studio where I am a student. Yoga is an activity that does not drain me and leaves me feeling energized. My lungs feel so good after deep breathing and it helps with my flexibility, circulation, and stress levels. It also helps to be surrounded by so many positive individuals that embrace life. My well-being is a high priority.

At the moment, I am a candidate for a work position that is opening up at the end of July. Over the next five days, I am going to be shadowing the person currently in that position to see if it is a good fit.

I have been treating myself for all my hard work. I went to a concert in San Diego at the House of Blues last week and gave the main singer a pack of MTG: Shadows Over Innistrad cards and a hug at the end of the show, I purchased a beautiful black and white floral print halter dress at a vintage boutique shop, and as an ultimate treat, I finally upgraded my HP 2009m (20“ monitor) to an HP EliteDisplay E271i monitor (27” LCD) the crystal clear resolution and size is spectacular.

I have to stay fluid and go with the flow like water. I have no idea where all of this is going to lead, but I have a feeling the destination is going to be amazing. I need to continue moving forward with the sharp focus of an archer.

Your work ethic is super impressive, Kawaii.

It's good to have you guys on the admin team, you're both super Go-getters, very dedicated, highly intelligent, educated, smart people. :)

We finally got the little brother through high school. The downside is that I had to spend some time with my mom's side of the family. They are all athletic and look down at me, my husband, and one of my cousins that is in college going into pre-med because we are intellectuals and have very little interest in sports. My aunt additionally looks down on me because I'm also not girly-girl and I don't gush over make-up, jewelry, or cheetah print. (And, deep down, I think that side of my family might also have some prejudice because I'm adopted. Can't prove it though.)

My mom doesn't get it. But, even after almost 40 years of marriage she still responds to her maiden name quicker and easier than her married name.

The good news is that the next high school graduation in my family won't be for another 10 years, so I'm going to call that a vacation.

The other good news is I got to see my dad's side of the family again. They love me for who I am and are starting to seek Medicare advice from my husband and I (our career). So, my husband wants to see if we can get them all over again for Christmas.

ozoneocean wrote:
It's good to have you guys on the admin team, you're both super Go-getters, very dedicated, highly intelligent, educated, smart people. :)

Uh-huh. Heart and Soul–super ingredients for leadership. And they're lookers. SOMEHOW, you forgot that. Aside from a very rare few, most heroes are good-looking, and, stunningly, ozoneocean forgot to mention the pretty factor. :P

#iwouldntbesurprisediftheyalsohavecapes

ayesinback wrote:

ozoneocean wrote:
It's good to have you guys on the admin team, you're both super Go-getters, very dedicated, highly intelligent, educated, smart people. :)

Uh-huh. Heart and Soul–super ingredients for leadership. And they're lookers. SOMEHOW, you forgot that. Aside from a very rare few, most heroes are good-looking, and, stunningly, ozoneocean forgot to mention the pretty factor. :P

#iwouldntbesurprisediftheyalsohavecapes

Aw, guys! <3

Sick with a cold.
Oh I HATE being ill. That shivery coldness all through your muscles, the weakness in your chest and lungs, like you can never quite get enough breath to move yourself, the scratchy throat, liquid runny nose, hot eyes, stuffy thick head, gravely hoarse voice, the fully body tiredness, coughing and so on.

There's no cure either which is annoying. I'll just have to wait it out over several days.

And now I have it. Probably the same one too, considering the amount of traffic between London and the major Australian population centres.

The upside is, sometimes you get that semi-hallucinatory thing where you come up with unusual/novel characters or story ideas. I hear skreem gets an above average number of colds in any given year.

I may be coming down with it myself. Or is it the flu? I could never tell. These sort of things hit me harder than normal (type II diabetes, y'know)… The coughing fits are NOT pleasant…


And thanks to a Youtuber, I really REALLY want to get my hands on a game called Subnautica. Despite the fact that it's an unfinished game… It's interesting to me because it's a survival game where you're wind up alone on an alien ocean planet…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oXJM_oCVV38

I hate that youtube guy…
Youtube game guys are teh suck.

Colds and flus feel the same initially, but the flu is MUCH worse. Colds only last a few days- 2 to 5 maybe? Usually about 3.
Flu can last for 2 weeks or more. It can kill.

People think they're the same or related because of the symptoms, but they're not.
Many things cause exactly those same symptoms because that is just how your body reacts to infection or attack of some kind to the head and lungs: Mucus membranes become inflamed and produce excess liquid to try and flush the problem, you lungs have trouble breathing because of all the excess liquid in them, you body heats up to try and kill the virus…
This stuff all leads to headaches, sore throat, tiredness, etc etc.

Other conditions cause the same reactions: a head injury could cause it; amoebic meningitis can (brain infection), hayfever, inhaling various types of poison gas and nerve agents… The formaldehyde in MDF does it to me when I drill that material, heating it up enough to cause smoke… even dust particles like sawdust can do it.
And of course there are other more or less deadly diseases that also cause the same reactions.

I still remember the flu I had from the time when my father passed away (April 2014). My sister got it from her trip in Vietnam. IT SUCKED!!! It started out like a cold, but then it got so bad that I almost couldn't go to work. When I wasn't working I turned off all the lights, had only my computer working, and avoided it as much as I could. Quite a miserable experience…


As for the Youtuber, I find him entertaining (he's not as !!! as the Swedish one), but I don't watch him all that much. The game he was playing is a thing of beauty though. Or at least I think so as I've grown up being surrounded on all sides by oceans. :)

I'm with Ozone on that, the guy is obnoxious.

Why are you guys talking about a youtuber as if he's Voldemort?

Nah, he's worse than that, Voldemort was likable.

Well… I got Subnautica and I have to say… despite my rather ordinary computer hardware the game looks gorgeous. I swear if I was running with even more powerful hardware I'd swear I was about to drown… Not bad for an “early access” game that's $20 U.S. I think Used Books would enjoy playing it if only for the exploration…

You're apparently the only survivor of a ship that crashed on a water world (think of a planet like the real world planets of the Gliese system (Gliese 1214b comes to mind). Except this world has life. Which you either have to avoid or eat… or… drink… Gotta love how water habitats work. The bigger you build it the weaker its structural integrity becomes, forcing you to add hull reinforcements to keep the place from letting water in… otherwise it's a bad case of Twenty Thousand Leaks under the Sea…

If that's the game I've heard off where you don't have guns to shoot the undersea creatures it sounds really good. :)

I just dislike that sort of youtuber who uses games and overly self referential humour (you have to be a fan to get that humour), to promote themselves. People who have real info to share however like Lindybeige, Skalagrim Matt Eastern Ian from forgotten weapons however are more entertaining to me.

Speaking of Youtubers, I got into watching Bennett the Sage and his anime Abandon series where he critiques various old animes.

It seems like he gives good, entertaining reviews on the surface, till you actually KNOW the anime he's reviewing and know just how silly he's being.
So I find myself really torn… his approach IS fairly entertaining, but it's also very dishonest for entertainment purposes, you know what I mean?

He's a smart guy who's seen a lot of stuff fairly well read and does good research, but his approach to reviews seems to be overly negative and he pretends not to be able to understand the simplest plot devices, character motivations, and director choices all so he can use that to heap on the hyperbolic negative criticism, which often spoils good anime for you.

If you haven't seen the anime you don't know what a dick he's being. If you HAVE seen it and know it's actually ok then you DO know what a dick he's being, and even if you've seen it and you know the anime WAS crappy, he doesn't really fully address what it was bad, rather he keeps on with his standard ridiculing criticism, which is more about boosting his image than giving a good evaluation of the work on show.

I've never liked the trend of reviewers and critics co-opting work (art, books, movies, comics, games, TV, music) in order to sell their own image and create their own material out of it.
If you're to review work you do it on it's OWN merits and nothing else, you NEVER make yourself the show and NEVER structure your review around how well the piece of work stacks up to ANOTHER piece of work or even your own fictional ideal.

Well, you do have weapons. But they're nonlethal. They use things like stasis fields and gas to distract the larger animals. And your survival knife has no effect on them. And you don't get those weapons (except the survival knife which is more a tool than a weapon) for a while as you have to scan blueprints for them like you do many other things in the game you need to build. So part of the survival strategy is to observe where these creatures show up and their behavior patterns (like how the Stalker loves playing with junk and that you can bribe it with fish you have caught).

The smaller fish… well… it's better to catch them. I may post my own gameplay on my Facebook when I get the chance, but it won't have comments (Windows Movie Maker tends to strip all the audio when I try to use it)…

I've never liked the trend of reviewers and critics co-opting work (art, books, movies, comics, games, TV, music) in order to sell their own image and create their own material out of it.
If you're to review work you do it on it's OWN merits and nothing else, you NEVER make yourself the show and NEVER structure your review around how well the piece of work stacks up to ANOTHER piece of work or even your own fictional ideal.

Ah yes, where the review isn't about what you're reviewing. It's all about YOU. I see them as wannabe ham actors who tear apart others to satisfy themselves. There are a couple of Twilight Zone episodes about that.

True- but it's to satisfy the audience, because they think it's what we want to hear… But I don't really.
As the audience of a critic I DON'T want them to exaggerate flaws for comedic effect, I want a true picture of the work because I might want to see it for myself.

If there are flaws that are funny, then sure, make fun of them, but don't act as if EVERYTHING is woeful as a default and make things into terrible flaws when they aren't, or if you main complaint is that a work isn't enough like some mainstream standard or that the story isn't about something you'd like it to be then you shouldn't be reviewing ANYTHING ever.

All that said, Bennett has a lot of potential and ability. I think he's just been spoiled by the format of his show and what he thinks are his audience expectations. - critiquing the critic, but not as entertainment and not to make myself look better.